Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 19 August, 2005 by L
                    
   ---------        
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& "I thought I'd be stuck in that flask forever! ...and you get one wish."
                    
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@ "Okay, okay, I can do this. Gotta get it right. Deep breath, and..."
                    
   ---------        
   |.......|        
   |....&..|        
   |n..@...|        
 #K-..d....|        
 K |....../+########
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@ "I wish for a blessed..."
                    
   ---------        
   |..K.n..|        
   |.K..&..|        
   |...@...|        
 ##-..d....|        
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@ "...greased..."
                    
   ---------        
   |.......|        
   |....&.K|        
   |...@..K|        
 ##-..d...n|        
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## ---------        
                    
@ "...fixed..."
                    
   ---------        
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   |....&..|        
   |...@...|        
 ##-..d..KK|        
 # |......n+#######&
## ---------        
                    
@ "...erodeproof..."
                    
   ------\--        
   |.../.K\|        
   |../.&.K/        
   |./.@../|        
 ##-..d..n.|        
 # |.......+#####&&&
## ---------        
                    
                    
   ----\----        
   |.K/K\..|        
   |./..&n.|        
   |/..@...|        
 ##/..d....|        
 A |.......+###&&&##
## ---------        
                    
                    
   ---------        
   |.......|        
   |.n..&..|        
   |.K.@...|        
 ##AK.d....|        
 A |.......m&&&#####
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@ "...vaccuum- ofdeep- spaceproof..."
                    
   ---------        
   |.......|        
   |....&..|        
   |AA.@..]|        
 ##K.nd..&&|        
 K |A.....m&########
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@ "...proofremoval- proof..."
                    
   ---------        
   |.......|        
   |....&..|        
   |...@...|        
 #n-.Ad.&..|        
 K |AA.&.&m.########
#K ---------        
                    
@ "...fully insured..."
                    
   ---------        
   |.......|        
   |....&..|        
   |...@...|        
 ##-..d.&..|        
 n |AAA&.&$.######l#
/# ---------        
                    
@ "...100% all-natural materials..."
                    
   ---------        
   |.......|        
   |....&..|        
   |...@...|        
 ##-..dA&..|        
 # |.AA&&.$.####l###
## ---------        
                    
@ "...completely and utterly intact, undamaged and structurally sound..."
                    
   ---------        
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   |...@...|        
 ##-..d)...|        
 # |.AA[&&$.#l######
## ---------        
                    
                    
   ---------        
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 ##-..d)...|        
 # |.A)&..$l########
R# ---------        
                    
@ "...totally bereft of ancient unbreakable curses..."
                    
   ---------        
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   |...@...|        
 ##-..d)...|        
 R |.)&[..ml########
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@ "...and absolutely NOT stolen from nearby easily-angered shopkeepers..."
                    
   ---------        
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 ##-..d)...|        
 R |.))[&.m%########
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@ "...+3 armor class enchantment..."
                    
   ---------        
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 ##-.Rd)...|        
 # |.))[&m.%########
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& "Tut, tut! You forgot to say the magic word!!"
                    
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@ "Gaaah! Fine. *sigh*... I wish for a blessed..."
Some time later...  
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@ "Hey, Dogley..."
d "What, so I'm your dress-up doll now?"
                    
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 ###..d....|        
 # |....../.########
## ---------        
                    


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Rating

000719
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 26

Comments

shel August 19, 2005 00:15
First comment: 19 August, 2005 107 comments written
It's lucky he didn't get the scale mail still attached to the dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
it was made from
Nameless August 19, 2005 02:56
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
hEH, that was teh funny.
Jonas August 19, 2005 10:02
First comment: 15 July, 2005 24 comments written
What happened to the doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?
Potman August 19, 2005 10:13
First comment: 17 June, 2005 8 comments written
It was a mimicThe ancestors of the modern day chameleon, these creatures can
assume the form of anything in their surroundings. They may
assume the shape of objects or dungeon features. Unlike the
chameleon though, which assumes the shape of another creature
and goes in hunt of food, the mimic waits patiently for its
meals to come in search of it.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, I guess.
L August 19, 2005 13:30
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
Hah, that's a good one.
@ "Gray dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
scale mail."
In a puff of smoke, a gray dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
appears!
& "Some assembly required."
R August 19, 2005 17:47
First comment: 19 August, 2005 1 comments written
[belches]
Kernigh August 19, 2005 22:53
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
Dudley, you forgot "waterproof". However, size xxxs is not a problem, because one size fits all adventurers in NetHack.

How is PLEASE being a magic word? A scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
labeled PLEASE?
Dartong August 20, 2005 08:29
First comment: 20 August, 2005 1 comments written
I think the purpose of the 'doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
' comment was to highlight that neither Dudley nor Dogley noticed any of the crazy epic progression of battle going on all around them. I particularly liked the mimicThe ancestors of the modern day chameleon, these creatures can
assume the form of anything in their surroundings. They may
assume the shape of objects or dungeon features. Unlike the
chameleon though, which assumes the shape of another creature
and goes in hunt of food, the mimic waits patiently for its
meals to come in search of it.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
killing the leprechaunThe Irish Leprechaun is the Faeries' shoemaker and is known
under various names in different parts of Ireland:
Cluricaune in Cork, Lurican in Kerry, Lurikeen in Kildare
and Lurigadaun in Tipperary. Although he works for the
Faeries, the Leprechaun is not of the same species. He is
small, has dark skin and wears strange clothes. His nature
has something of the manic-depressive about it: first he
is quite happy, whistling merrily as he nails a sole on to a
shoe; a few minutes later, he is sullen and morose, drunk
on his home-made heather ale. The Leprechaun's two great
loves are tobacco and whiskey, and he is a first-rate con-man,
impossible to out-fox. No one, no matter how clever, has ever
managed to cheat him out of his hidden pot of gold or his
magic shilling. At the last minute he always thinks of some
way to divert his captor's attention and vanishes in the
twinkling of an eye.
        [ A Field Guide to the Little People
                 by Nancy Arrowsmith & George Moorse ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
stormy August 20, 2005 14:03
First comment: 9 July, 2005 44 comments written
leprechaunThe Irish Leprechaun is the Faeries' shoemaker and is known
under various names in different parts of Ireland:
Cluricaune in Cork, Lurican in Kerry, Lurikeen in Kildare
and Lurigadaun in Tipperary. Although he works for the
Faeries, the Leprechaun is not of the same species. He is
small, has dark skin and wears strange clothes. His nature
has something of the manic-depressive about it: first he
is quite happy, whistling merrily as he nails a sole on to a
shoe; a few minutes later, he is sullen and morose, drunk
on his home-made heather ale. The Leprechaun's two great
loves are tobacco and whiskey, and he is a first-rate con-man,
impossible to out-fox. No one, no matter how clever, has ever
managed to cheat him out of his hidden pot of gold or his
magic shilling. At the last minute he always thinks of some
way to divert his captor's attention and vanishes in the
twinkling of an eye.
        [ A Field Guide to the Little People
                 by Nancy Arrowsmith & George Moorse ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
? it looks like a major demonIt is often very hard to discover what any given Demon looks
like, apart from a general impression of large size, huge
fangs, staring eyes, many limbs, and an odd color; but all
accounts agree that Demons are very powerful, very Magic (in
a nonhuman manner), and made of some substance that can squeeze
through a keyhole yet not be pierced with a Sword. This makes
them difficult to deal with, even on the rare occasions when
they are friendly.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
to me
Eemeli August 20, 2005 14:10
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
The mimicThe ancestors of the modern day chameleon, these creatures can
assume the form of anything in their surroundings. They may
assume the shape of objects or dungeon features. Unlike the
chameleon though, which assumes the shape of another creature
and goes in hunt of food, the mimic waits patiently for its
meals to come in search of it.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
kills the leprechaunThe Irish Leprechaun is the Faeries' shoemaker and is known
under various names in different parts of Ireland:
Cluricaune in Cork, Lurican in Kerry, Lurikeen in Kildare
and Lurigadaun in Tipperary. Although he works for the
Faeries, the Leprechaun is not of the same species. He is
small, has dark skin and wears strange clothes. His nature
has something of the manic-depressive about it: first he
is quite happy, whistling merrily as he nails a sole on to a
shoe; a few minutes later, he is sullen and morose, drunk
on his home-made heather ale. The Leprechaun's two great
loves are tobacco and whiskey, and he is a first-rate con-man,
impossible to out-fox. No one, no matter how clever, has ever
managed to cheat him out of his hidden pot of gold or his
magic shilling. At the last minute he always thinks of some
way to divert his captor's attention and vanishes in the
twinkling of an eye.
        [ A Field Guide to the Little People
                 by Nancy Arrowsmith & George Moorse ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
before it kills major demonIt is often very hard to discover what any given Demon looks
like, apart from a general impression of large size, huge
fangs, staring eyes, many limbs, and an odd color; but all
accounts agree that Demons are very powerful, very Magic (in
a nonhuman manner), and made of some substance that can squeeze
through a keyhole yet not be pierced with a Sword. This makes
them difficult to deal with, even on the rare occasions when
they are friendly.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. It must be a giantGiants have always walked the earth, though they are rare in
these times. They range in size from little over nine feet
to a towering twenty feet or more. The larger ones use huge
boulders as weapons, hurling them over large distances. All
types of giants share a love for men - roasted, boiled, or
fried. Their table manners are legendary.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
one...
Plague August 20, 2005 14:24
First comment: 31 January, 2005 102 comments written
A ring ofThree Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hyperconflict?
Eemeli August 21, 2005 10:52
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
"A ring ofThree Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hyperconflict?"

Aka. Dudley =)
Beowulf August 21, 2005 22:04
First comment: 8 January, 2005 114 comments written
Try wishing for something that long and you'll get "Nothing of that description exists in this game" x - a cursed scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of earth
Daverd August 29, 2005 17:24
First comment: 18 August, 2004 26 comments written
Bravo. This was a good one.
Fathead June 20, 2006 22:30
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
I half-expected a newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
or something. Once, I wished for, and got, an amulet of"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
life-saving, and forgot to wear it!!!
Grognor April 15, 2007 23:02
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Gah! NO!
  May 30, 2007 09:46
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Hahahahaha, I didn't even realize until now.

Dudley doesn't know that isn't a wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
anymore...

(I think I pick up on new things every time I read this strip. Such depth!)
Grognor May 31, 2007 01:44
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Hey! I didn't notice that.

Thanks, anonymous hero!
Quint Sakugarne January 4, 2008 06:18
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Holy crap, the first time around, I TOTALLY didn't notice the secondary joke of everything going on around Dudley!

This makes it an automatic Excellent.
Dani December 16, 2008 12:46
First comment: 7 June, 2008 39 comments written
I laughed a lot at the nymphA female creature from Roman and Greek mythology, the nymph
occupied rivers, forests, ponds, etc. A nymph's beauty is
beyond words: an ever-young woman with sleek figure and
long, thick hair, radiant skin and perfect teeth, full lips
and gentle eyes. A nymph's scent is delightful, and her
long robe glows, hemmed with golden threads and embroidered
with rainbow hues of unearthly magnificence. A nymph's
demeanour is graceful and charming, her mind quick and witty.

"Theseus felt her voice pulling him down into fathoms of
sleep.        The song was the skeleton of his dream, and the dream
was full of terror. Demon girls were after him, and a bull-
man was goring him. Everywhere there was blood. There was
pain. There was fear.        But his head was in the nymph's lap
and her musk was about him, her voice weaving the dream. He
knew then that she had been sent to tell him of something
dreadful that was to happen to him later. Her song was a
warning. But she had brought him a new kind of joy, one that
made him see everything differently. The boy, who was to
become a hero, suddenly knew then what most heroes learn
later -- and some too late -- that joy blots suffering and
that the road to nymphs is beset by monsters."
[ The Minotaur by Bernard Evslin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
being chased by Kops, finding a /oMM and then making the Kops run from HER. :D

Hilarious.

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