Dudley's dungeon

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Wednesday, 8 August, 2007 by Dol
As the wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
kicks the doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, it shatters to pieces! |.... |...-- --.. |...... |..%.---..( |..@_....@A....%.%. |...... |@..%---..( |.... |...-- --.[ ----- -..-- ---
         ...|       
 -----   -..--   ---
 |....   |...-- --..
 |...@.. |.A%.---..(
 |..._....@.....%.%.
 |...... |@..%---..(
 |....   |...-- --.[
 -----   -..--   ---
         ...|      |
         ...|       
 ---------..--   ---
 |.......|A..-- --..
 |.......|..%.---..(
 |..._@..@......%.%.
 |.......|@..%---..(
 |.......|...-- --.[
 ---------..--   ---
         ...|      |
You see here a cheap
plastic imitation of
an altarAltars are of three types:
1. In Temples. These are for Sacrifices [...]. The stone
top will have grooves for blood, and the whole will be covered
with _dry brown stains of a troubling kind_ from former
Sacrifices.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late;
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his gods?
        [ Lays of Ancient Rome, by Thomas B. Macaulay ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of MolochAnd the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,
Again, thou shalt say to the children of Israel, Whosoever
he be of the children of Israel, or of the strangers that
sojourn in Israel, that giveth any of his seed unto Molech;
he shall surely be put to death: the people of the land shall
stone him with stones.
And I will set my face against that man, and will cut him off
from among his people; because he hath given of his seed unto
Molech, to defile my sanctuary, and to profane my holy name.
And if the people of the land do any ways hide their eyes
from the man, when he giveth of his seed unto Molech, and kill
him not:
Then I will set my face against that man, and against his
family, and will cut him off, and all that go a whoring after
him, to commit whoredom with Molech, from among their people.
        [ Leviticus 20:1-5 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. |.......|...-- --.. |.......|A.%.---..( |..._..........%.%. |.......|@..%---..( |.......|..@-- --.[ ---------..-- ---
@ "Rodney...stop banging your head against that wall."
@ "DO - NOT - CALL - ME - RODNEY!"


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Rating

010219
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 22

Comments

Skyrock August 8, 2007 00:17
First comment: 26 July, 2007 41 comments written
I laughed my as off, what should easily qualify as E.

As a funny side note, I get asked about the symbol for altars.
snafu August 8, 2007 00:18
First comment: 3 November, 2006 15 comments written
ROFL^2

I know I should have expected it, but that sent me into stitches!
Callie August 8, 2007 00:50
First comment: 16 July, 2007 31 comments written
Very nice, but how did Rodney get off his leashThey had splendid heads, fine shoulders, strong legs, and
straight tails. The spots on their bodies were jet-black and
mostly the size of a two-shilling piece; they had smaller
spots on their heads, legs, and tails. Their noses and eye-
rims were black. Missis had a most winning expression.
Pongo, though a dog born to command, had a twinkle in his
eye. They walked side by side with great dignity, only
putting the Dearlys on the leash to lead them over crossings.
        [ The Hundred and One Dalmatians, by Dodie Smith ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?
Mordae August 8, 2007 04:35
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
A classic.
Grognor August 8, 2007 05:59
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Callie: WizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
mode.

Yeah this one was nice.
Antheridium August 8, 2007 06:06
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
Lovely.

So is he going to escape in celestial disgrace?

Or is he going to sit up there and play cards with the High Priestess of PtahKnown under various names (Nu, Neph, Cenubis, Amen-Kneph,
Khery-Bakef), Ptah is the creator god and god of craftsmen.
He is usually depicted as wearing a closely fitting robe
with only his hands free. His most distinctive features are
the invariable skull-cap exposing only his face and ears,
and the _was_ or rod of domination which he holds,
consisting of a staff surmounted by the _ankh_ symbol of
life. He is otherwise symbolized by his sacred animal, the
bull.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
for eternity?
Armv August 8, 2007 06:29
First comment: 5 October, 2006 28 comments written
Funny thing about celestial disgrace; the second time I was able to get the amulet"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
up to the Astral plane I sort of forgot which godGoddesses and Gods operate in ones, threesomes, or whole
pantheons of nine or more (see Religion). Most of them claim
to have made the world, and this is indeed a likely claim in
the case of threesomes or pantheons: Fantasyland does have
the air of having been made by a committee. But all Goddesses
and Gods, whether they say they made the world or not, have
very detailed short-term plans for it which they are determined
to carry out. Consequently they tend to push people into the
required actions by the use of coincidence or Prophecy, or just
by narrowing down your available choices of what to do next:
if a deity is pushing you, things will go miserably badly until
there is only one choice left to you.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
I had been following...
Antheridium August 8, 2007 08:01
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
That has to suck...

But. Doesn't it show your alignment on the status bar?
Roger Barnett August 8, 2007 14:49
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
Poor Rodney, he just can't get a break.
Fathead August 12, 2007 04:51
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
For some reason, the words "cheap plastic imitation" always crack me up.
Dani June 20, 2008 15:27
First comment: 7 June, 2008 39 comments written
As if there wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
a damn expensive brass imitation of the Amulet"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
...

Still, a well-deserved E.

Armv: ouch.
Newtkiller January 10, 2009 19:48
First comment: 28 October, 2008 127 comments written
No expensive imitation. Try throwing the amulet"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
in a shop. Then you'll know why the imitation is called cheap...

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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