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Tuesday, 3 July, 2007 by HW
                    
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   |.:...\..@hD|    
   |yx%.Ei...%L|    
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   |wTF..%rN`cG|    
   |~% P%.AW%%J|    
#~~~~.Bk..lo%..|    
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D "You know what I really like about these union meetings?"
                    
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#~~~~.Bk..lo%..|    
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D "The snacks and the social get together afterwards."
                    
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   |y:...\..@hD|    
   |.x%.Ei...%L|    
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   |wTF..%rN`cG|    
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#~~~~.B..klo%..|    
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L "The catering is truly excellent. Can you believe it was : who brought it all?"
                    
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#~~~~.B..klo%..|    
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@ "Indeed. Tasty set of legs, by the way. Want some?"
                    
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h "Actually I prefer..."
                    
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#~~~~.Bk..lo%J.|    
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h "Oh drat, we're out of brain again!"
With apologies to Roger Zelazny and his excellent "Bring me the Head of Prince Charming".


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Rating

002614
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 22

Comments

Rose July 3, 2007 00:27
First comment: 3 July, 2006 79 comments written
Who knew there was still a brilliant newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
joke to be made?? :D :D This is great!!
flatluigi July 3, 2007 03:31
First comment: 23 November, 2006 28 comments written
I wasn't getting the joke for a fair while until I reread it and noticed the part about ": bringing it all."

This is truly the newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
joke of all newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
jokes.
Henry J Cobb July 3, 2007 04:59
First comment: 28 June, 2007 29 comments written
Yes, but wouldn't Rodney suffer from aggravate monsters?
DaHusky July 3, 2007 06:59
First comment: 4 June, 2007 27 comments written
Funny, plain very funny
Eskimo July 3, 2007 09:18
First comment: 14 April, 2004 166 comments written
The newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
killed me (read it any way you want :)
Nameless July 3, 2007 10:09
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
<audible groan>
The observer in the background July 3, 2007 11:30
First comment: 3 July, 2007 1 comments written
Btw, this is not the WizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
towerTowers (_brooding_, _dark_) stand alone in Waste Areas and
almost always belong to Wizards. All are several stories high,
round, doorless, virtually windowless, and composed of smooth
blocks of masonry that make them very hard to climb. [...]
You will have to go to a Tower and then break into it at some
point towards the end of your Tour.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, second floor. Even it looks like it.

Notice the throneMethought I saw the footsteps of a throne
Which mists and vapours from mine eyes did shroud--
Nor view of who might sit thereon allowed;
But all the steps and ground about were strown
With sights the ruefullest that flesh and bone
Ever put on; a miserable crowd,
Sick, hale, old, young, who cried before that cloud,
"Thou art our king,
O Death! to thee we groan."
Those steps I clomb; the mists before me gave
Smooth way; and I beheld the face of one
Sleeping alone within a mossy cave,
With her face up to heaven; that seemed to have
Pleasing remembrance of a thought foregone;
A lovely Beauty in a summer grave!
        [ Sonnet, by William Wordsworth ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
after the doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. And the backdoor on the left.

A concept of a restaurant is very nice, still. It's well done and needs very little figuring to find that out.
SomeoneElse July 3, 2007 13:22
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
I don't know why, but this one flew straight over my head...
1338h4x July 3, 2007 13:37
First comment: 19 September, 2006 102 comments written
Who said it was Rodney? Could be any humanThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
Mordae July 3, 2007 14:27
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
A dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, an arch-lichBut on its heels ere the sunset faded, there came a second
apparition, striding with incredible strides and halting when
it loomed almost upon me in the red twilight-the monstrous mummy
of some ancient king still crowned with untarnished gold but
turning to my gaze a visage that more than time or the worm had
wasted. Broken swathings flapped about the skeleton legs, and
above the crown that was set with sapphires and orange rubies, a
black something swayed and nodded horribly; but, for an instant,
I did not dream what it was. Then, in its middle, two oblique
and scarlet eyes opened and glowed like hellish coals, and two
ophidian fangs glittered in an ape-like mouth. A squat, furless,
shapeless head on a neck of disproportionate extent leaned
unspeakably down and whispered in the mummy's ear. Then, with
one stride, the titanic lich took half the distance between us,
and from out the folds of the tattered sere-cloth a gaunt arm
arose, and fleshless, taloned fingers laden with glowering gems,
reached out and fumbled for my throat . . .
        [ The Abominations of Yondo, Clark Ashton Smith, 1926 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, and a master mind flayerThis creature has a humanoid body, tentacles around its
covered mouth, and three long fingers on each hand. Mind
flayers are telepathic, and love to devour intelligent beings,
especially humans. If they hit their victim with a tentacle,
the mind flayer will slowly drain it of all intelligence,
eventually killing its victim.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
walk into a bar... The bar quickly scribbles an 'Elbereth... Even as they stepped over the threshold a single clear
voice rose in song.

        A Elbereth Gilthoniel,
        silivren penna miriel
        o menel aglar elenath!
        Na-chaered palan-diriel
        o galadhremmin ennorath,
        Fanuilos, le linnathon
        nef aear, si nef aearon!

Frodo halted for a moment, looking back. Elrond was in his
chair and the fire was on his face like summer-light upon the
trees. Near him sat the Lady Arwen. [...]
He stood still enchanted, while the sweet syllables of the
elvish song fell like clear jewels of blended word and melody.
"It is a song to Elbereth," said Bilbo. "They will sing that,
and other songs of the Blessed Realm, many times tonight.
Come on!"
[ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
' and starts looking for a way to escape...
Gadora July 3, 2007 21:38
First comment: 21 September, 2006 88 comments written
Well done HW!
Fathead July 5, 2007 01:04
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
What's with Rose's newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?
Antheridium July 8, 2007 13:29
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
Had I the capacity, I would rate this higher than Excellent.
Grognor July 9, 2007 09:24
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
I don't get it at all!

Dangit!
Grognor July 9, 2007 09:25
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Wait...


wait...


I get it now! Oh that's GENIUS!
Dantopia July 10, 2007 22:57
First comment: 10 July, 2007 6 comments written
I stared at this one for 2 minutes, blank faced.
Then I got it and laughed soda out my nose. Bravo!
Antheridium July 11, 2007 07:13
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
I just now noticed the worm[The crysknife] is manufactured in two forms from teeth taken
from dead sandworms. The two forms are "fixed" and "unfixed".
An unfixed knife requires proximity to a human body's
electrical field to prevent disintegration. Fixed knives
are treated for storage. All are about 20 centimeters long.
        [ Dune, by Frank Herbert ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
head, the trollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, and the lichenThe chamber was of unhewn rock, round, as near as might
be, eighteen or twenty feet across, and gay with rich
variety of fern and moss and lichen. The fern was in
its winter still, or coiling for the spring-tide; but
moss was in abundant life, some feathering, and some
gobleted, and some with fringe of red to it.
        [ Lorna Doone, by R.D. Blackmore ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
together.
gneek August 6, 2008 00:54
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
This is definitely one of the best Dudley's Dungeon comics EVAR.

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