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Dudley's dungeon -- Thursday, 12 April, 2007

Dudley's dungeon

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Thursday, 12 April, 2007 by Edrobot
Hello Dudley!       
Welcome to Nethack! 
A mail daemonIt is rumoured that these strange creatures can be harmed by
domesticated canines only.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
appears!...| |..<...| |..@&..+ |......| ----+---
@ "Ah, time for another glorious day of dungeon crawling..."
& "Hello, Dudley!"
                    
                    
    --------        
    |......|        
    |..<...|        
    |..@&..+        
    |......|        
    ----+---        
                    
v - a news scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-------- |......| |..<...| |..@&..+ |......| ----+---
@ "Yeah, Yeah, I know. So anyway, whacha got for me this morning?"
& "Just this, gotta go!"
                    
                    
    --------        
    |......|        
    |..<...|        
    |..@...+        
    |......|        
    ----+---        
                    
    The H@ckers'    
      Journal       
 "All the Nethack-  
based news you need 
to know!"           
--------------------
Nethack 4.0 Release 
Date Confirmed!(not)
                    
@ "Blah blah blah, let's go to the comics section!"
Garfelled           
--------------------
|the little dogA domestic animal, the _tame dog_ (_Canis familiaris_), of
which numerous breeds exist. The male is called a dog,
while the female is called a bitch. Because of its known
loyalty to man and gentleness with children, it is the
world's most popular domestic animal. It can easily be
trained to perform various tasks.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
| |barks!------ | | |....| | | |^df.+######| | |....| | | ------ | --------------------
f "I hate mondays..."
By Jim Deveous      
--------------------
|you kick the dogA domestic animal, the _tame dog_ (_Canis familiaris_), of
which numerous breeds exist. The male is called a dog,
while the female is called a bitch. Because of its known
loyalty to man and gentleness with children, it is the
world's most popular domestic animal. It can easily be
trained to perform various tasks.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! | |The dogA domestic animal, the _tame dog_ (_Canis familiaris_), of
which numerous breeds exist. The male is called a dog,
while the female is called a bitch. Because of its known
loyalty to man and gentleness with children, it is the
world's most popular domestic animal. It can easily be
trained to perform various tasks.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
falls into| |a pitAmid the thought of the fiery destruction that impended, the
idea of the coolness of the well came over my soul like balm.
I rushed to its deadly brink. I threw my straining vision
below. The glare from the enkindled roof illumined its inmost
recesses. Yet, for a wild moment, did my spirit refuse to
comprehend the meaning of what I saw. At length it forced --
it wrestled its way into my soul -- it burned itself in upon my
shuddering reason. Oh! for a voice to speak! -- oh! horror! --
oh! any horror but this!
        [ The Pit and the Pendulum, by Edgar Allan Poe ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
!|....| | | |d.f.+######| | |....| | | ------ | --------------------
f "I hope that that doesn't come back to haunt me..."
                    
--------------------
|you step on a     |
|cream pie trap!   |
|the creampie hits!|
|      |^..f+######|
|      |....|      |
|      ------      |
--------------------
f "Yep, I deserved that."
Delbert             
--------------------
|                  |
|   ------------   |
|   |...@&.@...|   |
|   |..|----|..|   |
|   |...@.Q:...|   |
|   -----#------   |
--------------------
& "I just want to thank you for your work on the big project..."
by Scott At-arms    
--------------------
|                  |
|   ------------   |
|   |...@&.@...|   |
|   |..|----|..|   |
|   |...@.Q:...|   |
|   -----#------   |
--------------------
& "Once my raise comes through, I make sure I will credit y'all on your weekly perfor-
mance reviews!"
                    
--------------------
|Alice hits! The   |
|PHB dies!------   |
|   |...@%.@...|   |
|   |..|----|..|   |
|   |...@.Q:...|   |
|   -----#------   |
--------------------
Macadamia Nuts      
--------------------
|you let loose the |
|kite!---....----+-|
|       |..........|
|       |.@---].T..|
|       |...-------|
|-------|...|      |
--------------------
By Carl Schultz     
--------------------
|the Kite-Eating   |
|treeI think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
        [ Trees - Joyce Kilmer ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! the kite |is destroyed!--]..| | |.@---/.T..| | |...-------| |-------|...| | --------------------
                    
--------------------
|............|     |
|---+----....----+-|
|       |.....--\..|
|       |.@---/.T..|
|       |...-------|
|-------|...|      |
--------------------
@ "Good Grief!"
The Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-------------------- |You hit Krosus!Sir| |Rodney zaps a wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
| |of death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
!P....| | |#+.. .H..@-@@.| | | |...;..G...P.| | | -------------- | --------------------
@ "I'll save you, highness!"
By Someone          
--------------------
|DYWYPI? y/n - y   |
| --------------   |
| |..R....P....|   |
|#+.. .H..@-@@.|   |
| |...;..G...P.|   |
| --------------   |
--------------------
                    
--------------------
|A blessed +5 knifePossibly perceiving an expression of dubiosity on their
faces, the globetrotter went on adhering to his adventures.

-- And I seen a man killed in Trieste by an Italian chap.
Knife in his back. Knife like that.

Whilst speaking he produced a dangerous looking clasp knife,
quite in keeping with his character, and held it in the
striking position.

-- In a knockingshop it was count of a tryon between two
smugglers. Fellow hid behind a door, come up behind him.
Like that. Prepare to meet your God, says he. Chuck! It
went into his back up to the butt.
        [ Ulysses, by James Joyce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
| |named Finkbane | | | |A scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
labled | |"THE KING IS A | |FINK!" | --------------------
The Near Side       
--------------------
|GADSOPMTJJEEIAINCI|
|ACMBNDBNOIANVFOLNL|
|HADFBA;GAHANGIOSGA|
|GAVALMOH@GADFGHASA|
|HADFCXGADSXFGGAAFA|
|GAFAONVICCNXHAHHPO|
--------------------
Suddenly, Chad realized he forgot his toothbrush!
The Family Zoo      
  ----------------  
 / The black DragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man.  Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
|looks confused | | |....@@..| | |####+.D@.@@..+# | | ----------# | \ # / ----------------
@ "Look mommy! A little doggie!"
Perils Before Swine 
--------------------
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|......Z.|.:.......|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
--------------------
: "OH ZEEBA! WE WANTS TO GIVE YOU A PWESESNT! COME OVER HERE!"
By Steven Paste     
--------------------
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|......Z.|.:.......|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
--------------------
Z "What kind of idiot do you take me for?"
                    
--------------------
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|......Z.|.:.......|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
--------------------
Z "You crocs just want me to come over the fence so you can eat me!"
                    
--------------------
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
|......Z.|.:.......|
|........|.........|
|........|.........|
--------------------
: "YOU ESS NOT A GEWD NEYBOR."
Word Search         
----------How many  
|********|can you   
|********|find?     
|********|          
|********|Newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Pie ----------Vorpal"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
GWTWOD Dungeon Death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
DragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
OdinAlso called Sigtyr (god of Victory), Val-father (father of
the slain), One-Eyed, Hanga-god (god of the hanged), Farma-
god (god of cargoes), Hapta-god (god of prisoners), and
Othin. He is the prime god of the Norsemen: god of war and
victory, wisdom and prophecy, poetry, the dead, air and wind,
hospitality, and magic.
As the god of war and victory, Odin is ruler of the Valkyries,
warrior-maidens who lived in the halls of Valhalla in Asgard,
the hall of dead heroes where he held his court.
These chosen ones will defend the realm of the gods against
the Frost Giants on the final day of reckoning, Ragnarok.
As god of the wind, Odin rides through the air on his eight-
footed horse, Sleipnir, wielding Gungner, his spear, normally
accompanied by his ravens, Hugin and Munin, who he would also
use as his spies.
As a god of hospitality, he enjoys visiting the earth in
disguise to see how people were behaving and to see how they
would treat him, not knowing who he was.
Odin is usually represented as a one-eyed wise old man with a
long white beard and a wide-brimmed hat (he gave one of his
eyes to Mimir, the guardian of the well of wisdom in Hel, in
exchange for a draught of knowledge).

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Thor
Zaggy               
--------------------
|                  |
|   --------       |
|   |..HHH.|       |
|   |..H@H.|       |
|   |..HHH.|       |
|   -----#--       |
--------------------
@ "Life is like Nethack: You just can't win!"
Dudley's Dungeon    
--------------------
|    --------      |
|    |......|      |
|    |..<...|      |
|    |..@...@      |
|    |......|      |
|    ----+---      |
--------------------
@ "What? I'm in the funny papers?"
By Edrobot          
--------------------
|    --------      |
|    |......|      |
|    |..<...|      |
|    |..@.@.-      |
|    |......|      |
|    ----+---      |
--------------------
@ "Uh oh! That means I only have one more panel to live! I gotta think fast!"
--------------------
|   ------------   |
|  /  REST IN   \  |
| /    PEACE     \ |
|/                \|
||     Dudley     ||
||  Killed by a   ||
||Copyright Lawyer||
--------------------
@ "Too late..."


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Rating

041310
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 18

Comments

Grunt April 12, 2007 01:14
First comment: 25 July, 2006 36 comments written
It just drags on. I think the idea would have worked better as a series of strips as opposed to just one overlong comic.
Someone Else April 12, 2007 01:16
First comment: 4 January, 2007 3 comments written
Kind of funny, I guess... but TOO MANY PANELS.
SomeoneElse April 12, 2007 01:17
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
And... I keep messing up my name. I hate the forgetting cookies thing.
Nameless April 12, 2007 02:16
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
LOL. I thought it was awesome.
Kernigh April 12, 2007 06:31
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
These are parodies of actual comic strips that I tend to see in newspapers here in the United States.

Garfield http://www.garfield.com/
Dilbert http://www.dilbert.com/
Peanuts http://www.snoopy.com/
The WizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of Id http://www.creators.com/comics/wi%7aard-of-id.html
The Far Side http://www.thefarside.com/
The Family Circus http://www.familycircus.com/
Pearls Before Swine http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/
Zippy the Pinhead http://www.zippythepinhead.com/
Dudley's Dungeon http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Dion April 13, 2007 12:25
First comment: 2 February, 2004 100 comments written
Is Dudley's dungeon in American newspapers? Cool... ;-)
Slowpoke April 13, 2007 17:48
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
Extra style points would have been given for a Nethack parody of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_kid .
Mumakil April 13, 2007 23:25
First comment: 5 June, 2006 5 comments written
Ten panels is long, even with a good pun but 28... C'mon...
Fathead April 17, 2007 02:57
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Unlike the rest of you, I couldn't stop reading or laughing.

Er, chuckling.
Grognor April 22, 2007 10:23
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Yes. Triple yes, in fact. Some wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
very funny.
Fathead June 28, 2007 18:49
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
If you ask me, that last one should have been attributed to Dion.
JohnEvans July 6, 2008 08:56
First comment: 6 July, 2008 2 comments written
I'm pretty sure the next-to-the-last is Ziggy.
http://www.gocomics.com/ziggy/

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