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Dudley's dungeon -- Tuesday, 12 December, 2006

Dudley's dungeon

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Tuesday, 12 December, 2006 by azgor
! Noobley has joined
  the channel.      
< HotMamma43> Hi    
  there, Noobley.   
< Noobley> Hello.   
  I'm kind of new at
  this.             
< HotMamma43> I had 
  a hunch.  ;-)     
"Sorry, Wrong Channel?"
< Noobley> Can you  
  help me with some-
  thing, HotMamma?  
< HotMamma43> Maybe.
  Tell me about     
  yourself first.   
  Just how much     
  experience do you 
  have, Noobley?    
< Noobley> Well, I'm
  18.  But I got    
  all of my         
  experience at once
  from a succubusThe incubus and succubus are male and female versions of the
same demon, one who lies with a human for its own purposes,
usually to the detriment of the mortals who are unwise in
their dealings with them.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. < HotMamma43> Oh my! Lucky you. ;-) * Noobley grins.
< HotMamma43> And   
  you say you're new
  at this?          
< Noobley> Well,    
  I've only done    
  this a few times. 
< HotMamma43> You   
  really ARE new!   
* Noobley smiles.   
< HotMamma43> Tell  
  me more about     
  yourself, Noobley.
< Noobley> Well, I'm
  a male            
  archeologistArcheology is the search for fact, not truth. [...] 
So forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel,
and digging up the world. We do not follow maps to buried
treasure, and X never, ever, marks the spot.
        [ Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. < HotMamma43> Oh? Where's your whip? ;-)
< Noobley> It was   
  just stolen by a  
  nymphA female creature from Roman and Greek mythology, the nymph
occupied rivers, forests, ponds, etc. A nymph's beauty is
beyond words: an ever-young woman with sleek figure and
long, thick hair, radiant skin and perfect teeth, full lips
and gentle eyes. A nymph's scent is delightful, and her
long robe glows, hemmed with golden threads and embroidered
with rainbow hues of unearthly magnificence. A nymph's
demeanour is graceful and charming, her mind quick and witty.

"Theseus felt her voice pulling him down into fathoms of
sleep.        The song was the skeleton of his dream, and the dream
was full of terror. Demon girls were after him, and a bull-
man was goring him. Everywhere there was blood. There was
pain. There was fear.        But his head was in the nymph's lap
and her musk was about him, her voice weaving the dream. He
knew then that she had been sent to tell him of something
dreadful that was to happen to him later. Her song was a
warning. But she had brought him a new kind of joy, one that
made him see everything differently. The boy, who was to
become a hero, suddenly knew then what most heroes learn
later -- and some too late -- that joy blots suffering and
that the road to nymphs is beset by monsters."
[ The Minotaur by Bernard Evslin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. She took my hat and my leather jacket too. < HotMamma43> A nymphA female creature from Roman and Greek mythology, the nymph
occupied rivers, forests, ponds, etc. A nymph's beauty is
beyond words: an ever-young woman with sleek figure and
long, thick hair, radiant skin and perfect teeth, full lips
and gentle eyes. A nymph's scent is delightful, and her
long robe glows, hemmed with golden threads and embroidered
with rainbow hues of unearthly magnificence. A nymph's
demeanour is graceful and charming, her mind quick and witty.

"Theseus felt her voice pulling him down into fathoms of
sleep.        The song was the skeleton of his dream, and the dream
was full of terror. Demon girls were after him, and a bull-
man was goring him. Everywhere there was blood. There was
pain. There was fear.        But his head was in the nymph's lap
and her musk was about him, her voice weaving the dream. He
knew then that she had been sent to tell him of something
dreadful that was to happen to him later. Her song was a
warning. But she had brought him a new kind of joy, one that
made him see everything differently. The boy, who was to
become a hero, suddenly knew then what most heroes learn
later -- and some too late -- that joy blots suffering and
that the road to nymphs is beset by monsters."
[ The Minotaur by Bernard Evslin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
? Sounds like you're having fun. ;-)
< Noobley> You could
  say that.  ;-)    
< HotMamma43> So,   
  what are you      
  wearing right now?
< Noobley> Nothing  
  at all.           
< HotMamma43> You're
  naked?            
< Noobley> Yeah.    
* HotMamma43 giggles
< Noobley> So, are  
  you very          
  experienced at    
  this, HotMamma?   
< HotMamma43> You   
  could definitely  
  say that.  ;-)    
< Noobley> I have a 
  problem that I    
  think you can     
  help me with,     
  HotMamma.         
< HotMamma43> Is it 
  a big problem?    
< Noobley> It's     
  really big.       
< HotMamma43> Tell  
  Mamma how she can 
  help you with     
  your BIG problem. 
< Noobley> Well...  
* HotMamma43 waits  
  expectantly.      
                    
                    
< Noobley> Do you   
  think I can beat  
  this purple       
  pythonNow the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field
which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea,
hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of
the trees of the garden: but of the fruit of the tree which is
in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of
it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent
said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: for God doth
know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be
opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And
when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one
wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou
hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I
did eat. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou
hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above
every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and
dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put
enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her
seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
        [ Genesis 3:1-6,13-15 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
with my bare hands, HotMamma?
< HotMamma43> No.   
  Use your          
  pick-axeThe mine is full of holes;
With the wound of pickaxes.
But look at the goldsmith's store.
There, there is gold everywhere.
        [ Divan-i Kebir Meter 2, by Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. < Noobley> Oh, yeah. Duh.


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Rating

34544
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 20

Comments

SomeoneElse December 12, 2006 00:03
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
Boring. Um. I don't like this one.
flatluigi December 12, 2006 01:51
First comment: 23 November, 2006 28 comments written
Eh. Not funny.
Mantar December 12, 2006 02:01
First comment: 17 June, 2004 197 comments written
Ah.. "beat this purple pythonNow the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field
which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea,
hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of
the trees of the garden: but of the fruit of the tree which is
in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of
it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent
said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: for God doth
know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be
opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And
when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one
wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou
hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I
did eat. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou
hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above
every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and
dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put
enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her
seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
        [ Genesis 3:1-6,13-15 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
with my bare hands" would be a nethack double entendre if it said "purple wormA gargantuan version of the harmless rain-worm, the purple
worm poses a huge threat to the ordinary adventurer. It is
known to swallow whole and digest its victims within only a
few minutes. These worms are always on guard, sensitive
to the most minute vibrations in the earth, but may also
be awakened by a remote shriek.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
" instead. There aren't any purple pythons in nethack.
Dav December 12, 2006 02:03
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
Kind of predictable.
Kernigh December 12, 2006 06:42
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
In NetHack, the pythons are purple if you play with ASCII and colors. Pythons are CLR_MAGENTA in the source.
http://nethack.simra.net/bestiary/p%79thon.html
http://nethack.wikia.com/wiki/Monst.c#line1919
Janos December 12, 2006 09:46
First comment: 18 August, 2005 40 comments written
Yuk.
A December 12, 2006 09:51
First comment: 24 October, 2006 70 comments written
Worst one ever. I need something below Poor when rating this one...
L December 12, 2006 11:06
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
Giving this a Fair... because I'm clearly insane.
L December 12, 2006 11:14
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
The problem with this one is that azgor is trying to pull us, the readers, into one direction concerning the state of the situation, only to reverse the direction in the punchline panel. The problem is that cybersex is already inundated in innuendo and ambiguous expressions, so we, the readers, never really know what's going on, even after the end.
Nameless December 12, 2006 11:50
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
I found it rather amusing, anyway. :-/
Gamer_2k4 December 12, 2006 14:12
First comment: 10 October, 2006 13 comments written
The last setup line could be interpreted several ways. It would have been better to have something distinctly related to combat, like "Do you think I can still slay the black dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
with my bare hands?"

Heh. "Purple pythonNow the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field
which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea,
hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of
the trees of the garden: but of the fruit of the tree which is
in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of
it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent
said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: for God doth
know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be
opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And
when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one
wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou
hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I
did eat. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou
hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above
every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and
dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put
enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her
seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
        [ Genesis 3:1-6,13-15 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
"
Rose December 12, 2006 15:51
First comment: 3 July, 2006 79 comments written
It reads better the second time through, when you know Noobley is definitely talking about nethack and nothing else. To all the comic writers, I very much appreciate having a new comic every day, even if some are a little 'eh'
Roger Barnett December 12, 2006 23:23
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
Rose does have a good point, having a new comic every day is good, even if not all of them are superb. It's not like people spend hours composing the Perfect Nethack Joke :P
Fathead December 13, 2006 01:05
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Oh blah.
GWabel December 13, 2006 10:08
First comment: 20 November, 2006 2 comments written
I would reserve judgment. At least this has an actual joke, unlike certain other sex-related strips.
Grognor April 21, 2007 07:53
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
I read it with a smile on my face the whole time.

Good, to make a rating triangle.

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