Dudley's dungeon

                    
 Dudley presents... 
                    
 The top 10 things  
        NOT         
 to give your wife  
  for her birthday  
                    
                    

#10 ring ofThree Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details. conflict
Your wife hits!     
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#9 cloakCloaks are the universal outer garb of everyone who is not a
Barbarian.  It is hard to see why.  They are open in front
and require you at most times to use one hand to hold them
shut.  On horseback they leave the shirt-sleeved arms and
most of the torso exposed to wind and Weather.  The OMTs
[ Official Management Terms ] for Cloaks well express their
difficulties.  They are constantly _swirling and dripping_
and becoming _heavy with water_ in rainy Weather, _entangling
with trees_ or _swords_, or needing to be _pulled close
around her/his shivering body_.  This seems to suggest they
are less than practical for anyone on an arduous Tour.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details. of         
displacement        
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#8 iron chain"You are fettered, " said Scrooge, trembling.  "Tell me why?"
"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost.  "I
made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my
own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.  Is its
pattern strange to you?"
Scrooge trembled more and more.
"Or would you know," pursued the Ghost, "the weight and
length of the strong coil you bear yourself?  It was full as
heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago.  You
have laboured on it, since.  It is a ponderous chain!"
        [ A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details.       
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#7 worthless piece  
of white glass      
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#6 amulet of"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness.  Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made.  Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details. ESP    
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#5 short sword      
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#4 kicking boots    
Your wife kicks!    
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#3 scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details. of earth  
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#2 speed boots      
Your wife nags!     
Your wife nags!     
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#1 Amulet of"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness.  Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made.  Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details.        
Yendor              
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The WizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods.  Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides.  He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details. of       
Yendor hits your    
wife!               
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