Dudley's dungeon

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Tuesday, 13 May, 2008 by Wellan
K - a cheap plastic 
imitation of the    
Amulet of YendorThis mysterious talisman is the object of your quest.  It is
said to possess powers which mere mortals can scarcely
comprehend, let alone utilize. The gods will grant the gift of
immortality to the adventurer who can deliver it from the
depths of Moloch's Sanctum and offer it on the appropriate high
altar on the Astral Plane.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
---+--- |.....| |.@%..| -|--|-- # # ##
                    
                    
    #               
 ---+---            
 |..@..|            
 |..%..|            
 -|--|--            
  #  #              
  ##                
@ "It's annoying, but since Rodney has the real deal, I guess he'll leave me alone for a while...
The cheap plastic   
Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
casts a spell! ---+--- |..@..| |.@%..| -|--|-- # # ##
@ "Oh, come on."
Would you like your cheap plastic possessions identified?


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

012327
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 33

Comments

() May 13, 2008 03:52
First comment: 21 April, 2008 3 comments written
Epic punchline is epic.
Antheridium May 13, 2008 06:04
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
So that's what Barbie Nethack is like.
Miss Mary Hawkes May 13, 2008 11:18
First comment: 13 May, 2008 1 comments written
Excellent rubs hands together
That was great.

Only compliant '@ "Oh, come on."' was not needed.
TJR May 13, 2008 12:23
First comment: 8 February, 2008 26 comments written
I love it.
SQLGuru May 13, 2008 13:55
First comment: 23 October, 2006 77 comments written
Which character represents you (usually), or another humanThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
? [likely to be Rodney.]

I'd rate it P for plastic.
I wonder if Dudley was playing a touristThe road from Ankh-Morpork to Chrim is high, white and
winding, a thirty-league stretch of potholes and half-buried
rocks that spirals around mountains and dips into cool green
valleys of citrus trees, crosses liana-webbed gorges on
creaking rope bridges and is generally more picturesque than
useful.
Picturesque. That was a new word to Rincewind the wizard
(BMgc, Unseen University [failed]). It was one of a number
he had picked up since leaving the charred ruins of
Ankh-Morpork. Quaint was another one. Picturesque meant --
he decided after careful observation of the scenery that
inspired Twoflower to use the word -- that the landscape was
horribly precipitous. Quaint, when used to describe the
occasional village through which they passed, meant fever-
ridden and tumbledown.
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld.
Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant "idiot".
        [ The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. They start the game with plastic (credit card).
Mordae May 13, 2008 14:02
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
A tinny, mechanical voice chirps, 'So, you thought you could kill me...'
Loof May 13, 2008 15:06
First comment: 2 May, 2005 22 comments written
This! Is! Excellent!
gneek May 13, 2008 16:37
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
Destroy the thief, my pets! Cheap plastic imitations of monsters appear from nowhere!
The cheap plastic imitation of a jabberwock"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits!

E!
bla May 13, 2008 17:58
First comment: 13 May, 2008 1 comments written
;-)
Wellan May 13, 2008 18:47
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
Glad you like it!

I considered making the footnote "Suddenly, the cheap plastic dungeon collapses.", but decided on the current one.

One more comic left in this batch.
Drizhen May 13, 2008 18:59
First comment: 21 February, 2008 20 comments written
> Destroy the thief, my pets! Cheap plastic imitations of monsters appear from nowhere!
> The cheap plastic imitation of a jabberwock"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits!

Your cheap plastic longsword named the Vorpal"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Blade decapitates the jabberwock"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
!
(If that isn't the message, then sorry. It's what I got in slash'EM in debug mode a moment ago.)

But that might be going a little too far...

E indeed.
SQLGuru May 13, 2008 19:39
First comment: 23 October, 2006 77 comments written
Your cheap plastic longsword named the Vorpal"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Blade snaps in half as you attemp to decapitate the plastic jabberwock"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
                        [ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
!

Doh!
. May 13, 2008 20:41
First comment: 7 December, 2005 48 comments written
Very good.
Medardo May 13, 2008 21:04
First comment: 5 December, 2007 23 comments written
Tis is excellent :)
The fun never ends here! Woohoo!
Lunga vita a dudley!
  May 14, 2008 04:15
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Rated C for Compliant.
Deshmeister Prime May 15, 2008 00:42
First comment: 15 May, 2008 20 comments written
I like
Blackened May 16, 2008 19:11
First comment: 14 May, 2008 31 comments written
Now that's the way I like it. Excellent!
Newtkiller November 13, 2008 14:09
First comment: 28 October, 2008 127 comments written
You hit the Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
with your cockatriceOnce in a great while, when the positions of the stars are
just right, a seven-year-old rooster will lay an egg. Then,
along will come a snake, to coil around the egg, or a toad,
to squat upon the egg, keeping it warm and helping it to
hatch. When it hatches, out comes a creature called basilisk,
or cockatrice, the most deadly of all creatures. A single
glance from its yellow, piercing toad's eyes will kill both
man and beast. Its power of destruction is said to be so
great that sometimes simply to hear its hiss can prove fatal.
Its breath is so venomous that it causes all vegetation
to wither.

There is, however, one creature which can withstand the
basilisk's deadly gaze, and this is the weasel. No one knows
why this is so, but although the fierce weasel can slay the
basilisk, it will itself be killed in the struggle. Perhaps
the weasel knows the basilisk's fatal weakness: if it ever
sees its own reflection in a mirror it will perish instantly.
But even a dead basilisk is dangerous, for it is said that
merely touching its lifeless body can cause a person to
sicken and die.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library)
and other sources ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
corpse. The Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
turns to stone.
100 turns later : A voice thunders : so you thought you could kill me, fool... The statueThen at last he began to wonder why the lion was standing so
still - for it hadn't moved one inch since he first set eyes
on it. Edmund now ventured a little nearer, still keeping in
the shadow of the arch as much as he could. He now saw from
the way the lion was standing that it couldn't have been
looking at him at all. ("But supposing it turns its head?"
thought Edmund.) In fact it was staring at something else -
namely a little dwarf who stood with his back to it about
four feet away. "Aha!" thought Edmund. "When it springs at
the dwarf then will be my chance to escape." But still the
lion never moved, nor did the dwarf. And now at last Edmund
remembered what the others had said about the White Witch
turning people into stone. Perhaps this was only a stone
lion. And as soon as he had thought of that he noticed that
the lion's back and the top of its head were covered with
snow. Of course it must be only a statue!
        [ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of the Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
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