Dudley's dungeon

Home Comments Archive Print

Wednesday, 2 April, 2008 by Nyss
                    
#####               
 ---+------         
 |.*..f...|         
 |.@.`....+#        
 ----------#        
  ##########        
  #                 
  #
@ "Being a healerI swear by Apollo the physician, and Aesculapius, and Health,
and All-heal, and all the gods and goddesses, that, according
to my ability and judgment, I will keep this Oath and this
stipulation -- to reckon him who taught me this Art equally dear
to me as my parents, to share my substance with him, and relieve
his necessities if required; to look upon his offspring in the
same footing as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if
they shall wish to learn it, without fee or stipulation; and
that by precept, lecture, and every other mode of instruction,
I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons, and those
of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath
according to the law of medicine, but to none others. I will
follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and
judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain
from whatever is deleterious and mischievous. [...]
        [ Hippocrates' Oath, translated by Francis Adams ]

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our
dogs when well.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. is great! I don't need to worry about dying at all anymore!" 
                    
#####               
 ---+------         
 |.*......|         
 |.@.`f...+#        
 ----------#        
  ##########        
  #                 
  #
@ "Plus, I'll never starve, because I've got the stone to flesh spell!" 
                    
#####               
 ---+------         
 |.%.f....|         
 |.@.`....+#        
 ----------#        
  ##########        
  #                 
  #
@ "Gems and pebbles turn into meatballs!" 
                    
#####               
 ---+------         
 |.%f.....|         
 |.@.%....+#        
 ----------#        
  ##########        
  #                 
  #
@ "And boulders turn into even bigger meatballs! Awesome!" 
                    
#####               
 ---+------         
 |.f......|         
 |.@.%....+#        
 ----------#        
  ##########        
  #                 
  #
@ "I wonder what happens if I cast it up?" 
    -------------   
   /   REST IN   \  
  /     PEACE     \ 
 /                 \
 |     Dudley      |
 |    killed by    |
 |  falling 5-ton  |
 |  slab of bacon  |
 /\\_/(\/(/\)\//\//|
@ "Oh....Mom said too much bacon would be the death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. of me."
http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Everything in NetHack is secretly made of bacon, you know.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
Powered by Nics
<< Previous<< First Random  Today >> Next >>

Rating

000614
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 20

Comments

Wonderer April 2, 2008 01:23
First comment: 22 March, 2007 106 comments written
So, Mazes of Menace are actually dug into a huge stone pig?

That's OK. It was more disturbing to think that the spell generates 100% Generic MeatSome hae meat and canna eat,
And some would eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
        [ Grace Before Meat, by Robert Burns ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. of nothing in particular. (Even though sometimes I think most supermarket and fast food meatSome hae meat and canna eat,
And some would eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
        [ Grace Before Meat, by Robert Burns ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. is precisely that.)
Slowpoke April 2, 2008 04:13
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
The eye of newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. is delicious!
You choke over your food.
three April 2, 2008 04:36
First comment: 2 April, 2008 1 comments written
Very nice.
Wellan April 2, 2008 04:54
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
Definitely funny. NetHack slapstick!
zem April 2, 2008 18:10
First comment: 5 December, 2005 64 comments written
he's a healerI swear by Apollo the physician, and Aesculapius, and Health,
and All-heal, and all the gods and goddesses, that, according
to my ability and judgment, I will keep this Oath and this
stipulation -- to reckon him who taught me this Art equally dear
to me as my parents, to share my substance with him, and relieve
his necessities if required; to look upon his offspring in the
same footing as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if
they shall wish to learn it, without fee or stipulation; and
that by precept, lecture, and every other mode of instruction,
I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons, and those
of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath
according to the law of medicine, but to none others. I will
follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and
judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain
from whatever is deleterious and mischievous. [...]
        [ Hippocrates' Oath, translated by Francis Adams ]

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our
dogs when well.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. - of course his meatSome hae meat and canna eat,
And some would eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
        [ Grace Before Meat, by Robert Burns ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. ends up cured (:
Antheridium April 2, 2008 22:52
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
Gives a whole new meaning to "well-marbled".
averin April 3, 2008 06:16
First comment: 19 January, 2008 6 comments written
rated E for Wonderer's comment
Ristipisto-Risto April 3, 2008 07:08
First comment: 25 January, 2006 52 comments written
I think there's no actual MeatSome hae meat and canna eat,
And some would eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
        [ Grace Before Meat, by Robert Burns ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. of Nothing... The meatSome hae meat and canna eat,
And some would eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
        [ Grace Before Meat, by Robert Burns ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. that seems such must be that of a Fully Normal Beast's. I just don't want to know where the fast food chains and supermarkets get that stuff. Way too cosmic.
Antheridium April 3, 2008 19:35
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
Zap the Wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. Nothing at the meatSome hae meat and canna eat,
And some would eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
        [ Grace Before Meat, by Robert Burns ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details....
hpp3 April 5, 2008 04:22
First comment: 21 November, 2007 38 comments written
Shouldn't the @ in the last panel be greyed out?
  September 22, 2008 00:07
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Yes, it should. DION!!
Newtkiller December 2, 2008 12:35
First comment: 28 October, 2008 127 comments written
Just checked it, and when you try that : 'blood drips on your face'. Still excellent for an excellent idea.
1045 3137
http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
Powered by Nics
<< Previous<< First Random  Today >> Next >>