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Wednesday, 17 October, 2007 by Skyrock
Hello D00Dl3y,      
welcome to Nethack! 
                    
#########Q          
      ---+---       
      |.....|       
      |..@..|       
#G##/#+...d.|       
      -------       
@ "Got to try this game... Nethack they call it. Should be less wacky than ol' Final Fantasy."
Q a quantum mechanicThese creatures are not native to this universe; they seem
to have strangely derived powers, and unknown motives.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
More info? [yn] (n) ########## ---Q--- |..@..| |...d.| ##G#/#+.....| -------
@ "Huh? OK, must just be one joke..."
You kill the quantum
mechanic.           
                    
##########          
      ---(---       
      |..@..|       
      |...d.|       
###G/#+.....|       
      -------       
@ "Booty!"
The gnome...  And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
picks up a wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. ########## ---@--- |...d.| |.....| ####G#+.....| -------
@ "I wonder what treasure awaits me..."
i - a dead catWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of
predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick,
soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the
cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt.

So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people
awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his
accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped,
yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did
the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content.
        [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
named Schroedingers CatImagine a sealed container, so perfectly constructed that no
physical influence can pass either inwards or outwards across its
walls. Imagine that inside the container is a cat, and also a
device that can be triggered by some quantum event. If that event
takes place, then the device smashes a phial containing cyanide and
the cat is killed. If the event does not take place, the cat lives
on. In Schroedinger's original version, the quantum event was the
decay of a radioactive atom. ... To the outside observer, the cat
is indeed in a linear combination of being alive and dead, and only
when the container is finally opened would the cat's state vector
collapse into one or the other. On the other hand, to a (suitably
protected) observer inside the container, the cat's state-vector
would have collapsed much earlier, and the outside observer's
linear combination has no relevance.
        [ The Emperor's New Mind, by Roger Penrose ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. ########## ---@--- |...d.| |.....| #####G+.....| -------
@ "Enough! I hope from now on this is a serious game!"
The gnome...  And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
throws a cream pie. The cream pie splashes over your face! ---@--- |...d.| |.....| ######G.....| -------


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

03262
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 13

Comments

Skyrock October 17, 2007 00:21
First comment: 26 July, 2007 41 comments written
This one is once again an embodiment of my philosophy "some comic is better than no comic at all."
Don't worry, you only have to suffer through one more creation from me. Well, at least until the next gap comes up ;)
Grognor October 17, 2007 02:02
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Just fair for the messages. I mean, accuracy people! You can't see a gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
pick up stuff behind a door, even if you have ESP and remember something there! Dead catImagine a sealed container, so perfectly constructed that no
physical influence can pass either inwards or outwards across its
walls. Imagine that inside the container is a cat, and also a
device that can be triggered by some quantum event. If that event
takes place, then the device smashes a phial containing cyanide and
the cat is killed. If the event does not take place, the cat lives
on. In Schroedinger's original version, the quantum event was the
decay of a radioactive atom. ... To the outside observer, the cat
is indeed in a linear combination of being alive and dead, and only
when the container is finally opened would the cat's state vector
collapse into one or the other. On the other hand, to a (suitably
protected) observer inside the container, the cat's state-vector
would have collapsed much earlier, and the outside observer's
linear combination has no relevance.
        [ The Emperor's New Mind, by Roger Penrose ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
should be housecast corpse! The delivery needs work! How did such a new playerThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
find AND kill a quantum mechanicThese creatures are not native to this universe; they seem
to have strangely derived powers, and unknown motives.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and find a gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
in the first room, AND somehow have an amulet of"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
ESP? The one-turn clairvoyance is once again present. All this rambling made me feel like bumping it down again from fair to mediocre.

But the idea was good.
Skyrock October 17, 2007 02:20
First comment: 26 July, 2007 41 comments written
We had often enough "godGoddesses and Gods operate in ones, threesomes, or whole
pantheons of nine or more (see Religion). Most of them claim
to have made the world, and this is indeed a likely claim in
the case of threesomes or pantheons: Fantasyland does have
the air of having been made by a committee. But all Goddesses
and Gods, whether they say they made the world or not, have
very detailed short-term plans for it which they are determined
to carry out. Consequently they tend to push people into the
required actions by the use of coincidence or Prophecy, or just
by narrowing down your available choices of what to do next:
if a deity is pushing you, things will go miserably badly until
there is only one choice left to you.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
view" as perspective (actually even in the first comic ever), and I found it especially useful this time to show what goes on behind the doors. I wanted to wake the wrong assumption in the reader that the GWTWOD strikes again.

You are right, a Q doesn't show on the first few turns. I needed it though to show one of the more wacky things from Nethack itself to frustrate this new playerThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
in his search for a "serious game".

It might well be that I'm a bit off with the messages. I tried for an half hour in wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
mode to get hit by a cream pie and find a Q chestDantes rapidly cleared away the earth around the chest. Soon
the center lock appeared, then the handles at each end, all
delicately wrought in the manner of that period when art made
precious even the basest of metals. He took the chest by the
two handles and tried to lift it, but it was impossible. He
tried to open it; it was locked. He inserted the sharp end
of his pickaxe between the chest and the lid and pushed down
on the handle. The lid creaked, then flew open.
Dantes was seized with a sort of giddy fever. He cocked his
gun and placed it beside him. The he closed his eyes like a
child, opened them and stood dumbfounded.
The chest was divided into three compartments. In the first
were shining gold coins. In the second, unpolished gold
ingots packed in orderly stacks. From the third compartment,
which was half full, Dantes picked up handfuls of diamonds,
pearls and rubies. As they fell through his fingers in a
glittering cascade, they gave forth the sound of hail beating
against the windowpanes.
        [ The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
with a dead catWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of
predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick,
soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the
cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt.

So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people
awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his
accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped,
yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did
the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content.
        [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, but without any success, so I had to guesstimate the proper messages.
Antheridium October 17, 2007 05:24
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
It may be that only Kops use cream pies; I can't remember.

Anyway, it was funny. I'll give it a G.
Eskimo October 17, 2007 08:03
First comment: 14 April, 2004 166 comments written
Heh, the Gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
ref which didn't happen is enough to make it excellent :)
GreyKnight October 17, 2007 09:14
First comment: 24 March, 2006 48 comments written
I liked the GWTWOD bit too!

For future reference, this should help test these things in wizmode. Set SHOPTYPE=G to force generation of a general store on every level; then, rob it and summon some Kops. You will shortly have more cream pies hurtling around than you ever wanted. To check something relating to a specific monster, you can generate monsters in wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
mode with ^G (Ctrl+G). You can even make tame or peaceful ones that way, by using the appropriate adjective when asked what kind of monster you want.

Don't mention it, don't mention it. I accept most credit cards or cash.
Skyrock October 17, 2007 14:05
First comment: 26 July, 2007 41 comments written
Damn, I didn't think of the Kops... I triggered them only once or twice in NetHack. That would have cut down on my research time.
I tried my luck with humanoids of which I know that they make massive use of ranged combat like gnomes and goblins, but without any luck.

I didn't know that you can force shop creation in wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
mode. Thanks for this bit of information.
Fathead October 22, 2007 17:54
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
For some reason, that's always hilarious.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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