Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 3 March, 2006 by L
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@ "Oh well. I guess this weapon isn't entirely useless."
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Using your silver saberFlashed all their sabres bare,
Flashed as they turned in air,
Sab'ring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wondered:
Plunged in the battery smoke,
Right through the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reeled from the sabre-stroke
Shattered and sundered.
Then they rode back, but not--
Not the six hundred.
        [ The Charge of the Light Brigade,
         by Alfred, Lord Tennyson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
named GrayswandirWhy had I been wearing Grayswandir? Would another weapon have
affected a Logrus-ghost as strongly? Had it really been my
father, then, who had brought me here? And had he felt I might
need the extra edge his weapon could provide? I wanted to
think so, to believe that he had been more than a Pattern-ghost.
        [ Knight of Shadows, by Roger Zelazny ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
you try to open the tin"You know salmon, Sarge," said Nobby.
"It is a fish of which I am aware, yes."
"You know they sell kind of slices of it in tins..."
"So I am given to understand, yes."
"Weell...how come all the tins are the same size? Salmon
gets thinner at both ends."
"Interesting point, Nobby. I think-"
        [ Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.


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Number of ratings: 21

Comments

Nobody Special March 3, 2006 02:29
First comment: 8 June, 2005 118 comments written
It's moments like these that make you realize NetHack doesn't have graphics because none could do it justice. Just imagine trying to show a guy opening a little can of spinach (or probably cockatriceOnce in a great while, when the positions of the stars are
just right, a seven-year-old rooster will lay an egg. Then,
along will come a snake, to coil around the egg, or a toad,
to squat upon the egg, keeping it warm and helping it to
hatch. When it hatches, out comes a creature called basilisk,
or cockatrice, the most deadly of all creatures. A single
glance from its yellow, piercing toad's eyes will kill both
man and beast. Its power of destruction is said to be so
great that sometimes simply to hear its hiss can prove fatal.
Its breath is so venomous that it causes all vegetation
to wither.

There is, however, one creature which can withstand the
basilisk's deadly gaze, and this is the weasel. No one knows
why this is so, but although the fierce weasel can slay the
basilisk, it will itself be killed in the struggle. Perhaps
the weasel knows the basilisk's fatal weakness: if it ever
sees its own reflection in a mirror it will perish instantly.
But even a dead basilisk is dangerous, for it is said that
merely touching its lifeless body can cause a person to
sicken and die.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library)
and other sources ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
meatSome hae meat and canna eat,
And some would eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
        [ Grace Before Meat, by Robert Burns ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, given Dudley's luck) with a huge silver saberFlashed all their sabres bare,
Flashed as they turned in air,
Sab'ring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wondered:
Plunged in the battery smoke,
Right through the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reeled from the sabre-stroke
Shattered and sundered.
Then they rode back, but not--
Not the six hundred.
        [ The Charge of the Light Brigade,
         by Alfred, Lord Tennyson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
Eemeli March 3, 2006 10:41
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
Nobody Special: That sounds just like Monkey"Listen, man-cub," said the Bear, and his voice rumbled like
thunder on a hot night. "I have taught thee all the Law of
the Jungle for all the peoples of the jungle--except the
Monkey-Folk who live in the trees. They have no law. They
are outcasts. They have no speech of their own, but use the
stolen words which they overhear when they listen, and peep,
and wait up above in the branches. Their way is not our way.
They are without leaders. They have no remembrance. They
boast and chatter and pretend that they are a great people
about to do great affairs in the jungle, but the falling of
a nut turns their minds to laughter and all is forgotten.
We of the jungle have no dealings with them. We do not drink
where the monkeys drink; we do not go where the monkeys go;
we do not hunt where they hunt; we do not die where they die...."
        [ The Jungle Book, by Rudyard Kipling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Island!
stormy March 3, 2006 12:35
First comment: 9 July, 2005 44 comments written
Nothing wrong with a wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
using greyswandir; that's the sword Gandalf had in LotR.
  March 3, 2006 14:44
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
> Nothing wrong with a wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
using greyswandir; that's the sword Gandalf had in LotR.

Except it wasn't. You're thinking of Glamdring. GrayswandirWhy had I been wearing Grayswandir? Would another weapon have
affected a Logrus-ghost as strongly? Had it really been my
father, then, who had brought me here? And had he felt I might
need the extra edge his weapon could provide? I wanted to
think so, to believe that he had been more than a Pattern-ghost.
        [ Knight of Shadows, by Roger Zelazny ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
is from Roger Zelazny's "Chronicles of Amber"Tree sap," Wu explained, "often flows over insects and traps
them. The insects are then perfectly preserved within the
fossil. One finds all kinds of insects in amber - including
biting insects that have sucked blood from larger animals."
        [ Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
"
Aykavil March 30, 2006 18:52
First comment: 30 March, 2006 8 comments written
You are blasted by the silver saberFlashed all their sabres bare,
Flashed as they turned in air,
Sab'ring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wondered:
Plunged in the battery smoke,
Right through the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reeled from the sabre-stroke
Shattered and sundered.
Then they rode back, but not--
Not the six hundred.
        [ The Charge of the Light Brigade,
         by Alfred, Lord Tennyson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
named GrayswandirWhy had I been wearing Grayswandir? Would another weapon have
affected a Logrus-ghost as strongly? Had it really been my
father, then, who had brought me here? And had he felt I might
need the extra edge his weapon could provide? I wanted to
think so, to believe that he had been more than a Pattern-ghost.
        [ Knight of Shadows, by Roger Zelazny ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
's power!
You die...

(Lawful wizards are quite unlikely, btw)
Fathead July 20, 2006 00:06
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
I heard once a comment about using a diamond for a doorstop....
Grognor April 18, 2007 08:56
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Life sucks! What else is new?
Th*t's Tfasd! There's not much you can do!

You're not the only one...
not having any fun......
Kerta December 13, 2007 13:34
First comment: 12 December, 2007 72 comments written
Well. Just imagine what you could do with ExcaliburAt first only its tip was visible, but then it rose, straight,
proud, all that was noble and great and wondrous. The tip of
the blade pointed toward the moon, as if it would cleave it
in two. The blade itself gleamed like a beacon in the night.
There was no light source for the sword to be reflecting
from, for the moon had darted behind a cloud in fear. The
sword was glowing from the intensity of its strength and
power and knowledge that it was justice incarnate, and that
after a slumber of uncounted years its time had again come.
After the blade broke the surface, the hilt was visible, and
holding the sword was a single strong, yet feminine hand,
wearing several rings that bore jewels sparkling with the
blue-green color of the ocean.
        [ Knight Life, by Peter David ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. You see a black knightHere lies the noble fearless knight,
Whose valour rose to such a height;
When Death at last had struck him down,
His was the victory and renown.
He reck'd the world of little prize,
And was a bugbear in men's eyes;
But had the fortune in his age
To live a fool and die a sage.
        [ Don Quixote of La Mancha by Miquel de
         Cervantes Saavedra ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
on the bridge.

I don't think I really need to finish this for the humor to kick in.

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