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Monday, 30 January, 2006

by L

\|------ \|- \|.....\| \| \|.....\| \|( \|.....\| \|------\| \| \|..@..\|-- % --- \|.%_... \|\| * \|.....\| -\|\|- \|.....\|-- --- @ "Hmm... this robeRobes are the only garments, apart from Shirts, ever to have sleeves. They have three uses: 1. As the official uniform of Priests, Priestesses, Monks, Nuns (see Nunnery), and Wizards. The OMT [ Official Management Term ] prescribed for the Robes of Priests and Nuns is that they _fall in severe folds_; of Priestesses that they _float_; and of Wizards that they _swirl_. You can thus see who you are dealing with. 2. For Kings. The OMT here is _falling in stately folds_. 3. As the garb of Desert Nomads. [...] [ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. would do well for my spellcasting."	\|------ \|- \|.....\| \| \|.....\| \|( \|.....\| \|------\| \| \|.....\|-- % --- \|.%@... \|\| * \|.....\| -\|\|- \|.....\|-- &--- @ "I don't really need this cloakCloaks are the universal outer garb of everyone who is not a Barbarian. It is hard to see why. They are open in front and require you at most times to use one hand to hold them shut. On horseback they leave the shirt-sleeved arms and most of the torso exposed to wind and Weather. The OMTs [ Official Management Terms ] for Cloaks well express their difficulties. They are constantly _swirling and dripping_ and becoming _heavy with water_ in rainy Weather, _entangling with trees_ or _swords_, or needing to be _pulled close around her/his shivering body_. This seems to suggest they are less than practical for anyone on an arduous Tour. [ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. of magic resistance any longer."	\|------ \|- \|.....\| \| \|.....\| \|( \|.....\| \|------\| \| \|...@.\|-- % --- \|.%_... \|\| * \|.....\| -\|\|- & \|.....\|-- --- @ "I've already got the Eye of the AethiopicaThis is a powerful amulet of ESP. In addition to its standard powers, it regenerates the energy of anyone who carries it, allowing them to cast spells more often. It also reduces any spell damage to the person who carries it by half, and protects from magic missiles. Finally, when invoked it has the power to instantly open a portal to any other area of the dungeon, allowing its invoker to travel quickly between areas. Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details., and I'm wielding Magicbane."
\|------ \|- \|.....\| \| \|.....\| \|( \|...@.\| \|------\| \| \|.....\|-- % --- \|.%_... \|\| * \|.....\| -\|\|- & \|.....\|-- --- @ "I mean, what's the chance that they'll steal the Eye and grab Magicbane with a bullwhip..."	\|------ \|- \|....@+ \| \|.....\| \|( \|.....\| \|------\| \| \|.....\|-- % --- \|.%_... \|\| * \|.....\| -\|\|- & \|.....\|-- --- @ "...and then use the Touch of Death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. [War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. [Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine. [Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. [ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.?"	-------------- / Killed by \ \| the old "steal \| \|the Eye and grab\| \|Magicbane with a\| \| bullwhip then \| \|use the Touch of\| \| Death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. [War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. [Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine. [Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. [ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ] Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details." trick \| /\\_/_\/_/\_\//\/\|
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@ "They felt that including my name on the headstone wasn't necessary."

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Comments

.	January 30, 2006 00:05
First comment: 7 December, 2005	48 comments written
Works every time.
Nameless	January 30, 2006 02:02
First comment: 29 December, 2004	281 comments written
It wasn't especially amusing... but the annotation was hilarious.
Ristipisto-Risto	January 30, 2006 10:33
First comment: 25 January, 2006	52 comments written
So it goes, as Mr. Vonnegut would say it. Quite a trick, 'tis.
acheron	January 30, 2006 23:38
First comment: 1 June, 2004	63 comments written
I expect a "missed it by that much" joke tomorrow.
Fathead	July 19, 2006 22:30
First comment: 1 April, 2006	1136 comments written
Yuch. No REST IN PEACE? This gets no E. That footnote should not be a footnote.
Grognor	April 17, 2007 08:09
First comment: 4 April, 2007	1161 comments written
Bwa ha har!