Dudley's dungeon

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Thursday, 17 July, 2008 by Daverd
Hello Dudley,       
welcome to NetHack! 
    ------+---      
    |....!..!|      
    |.!......|      
    |!..@d.!.|      
    +..!.<..!|      
    ----------      
                    
@ "Wow, I must be lucky today. Look at all these potions!"
f - 2 puce potions. 
Dogley picks up 3 ru
    ------+---      
    |....!..!|      
    |.!......|      
    |!.....d.|      
    +..@.<..!|      
    ----------      
                    
@ "Come on Dogley, help me gather these all up!"
Later...            
                    
    ------+---      
    |........|      
    |........|      
    |........|      
 ###-d..@<...|      
    ----------      
                    
@ "Alright, let's see what I've got."
Potions             
f - 2 puce potions  
g - 2 pink potions  
h - 3 smoky potions 
i - 2 bubbly potions
j - 3 ruby potions  
k - 2 dark potions  
l - 4 swirly potions
m - 3 clear potions 
@ "Well, I've got nothing to lose. Might as well find out what they are."
What do you want to 
drink? [f-m or ?*] f
    ------+---      
    |........|      
    |........|      
    |........|      
 #d#-...@<...|      
    ----------      
                    
You feel better.
What do you want to 
drink? [f-m or ?*] g
    ------+---      
    |........|      
    |........|      
    |........|      
 d##-...@<...|      
    ----------      
                    
Wow! This makes you feel great!
What do you want to 
drink? [f-m or ?*] h
    ------+---      
    |........|      
    |........|      
    |........|      
 ###-...@<...|      
    ----------      
                    
You feel charismatic!
What do you want to 
drink? [f-m or ?*] i
    ------+---      
    |........|      
    |........|      
    |........|      
 #d#-...@<...|      
    ----------      
                    
You feel very sick.
What do you want to 
drink? [f-m or ?*] j
    ------+---      
    |........|      
    |........|      
    |........|      
 ooo-d..@<...|      
    ----------      
                    
Ooph! This tastes like liquid fire! You pass out.
The hill orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! The hill orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! You die...--More-- |........| |........| |..o.d...| ###-.oo@<...| ----------
Do you want your possessions identified? [ynq] y
Potions             
f - a potionPOTABLE, n.  Suitable for drinking.  Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of booze g - a potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of booze h - 2 potions of booze i - a potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of booze
    ------------    
   /  REST IN   \   
  /    PEACE     \  
 /                \ 
 |    Dudley      | 
 |   killed by    | 
 | booze poisoning| 
 |    *  *  *     | 
 /\\_/(\/(/\)\//\/| 


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

000140
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 41

Comments

Wellan July 17, 2008 01:11
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
For once, I didn't see it coming! Nice use of messages.
Jackal Lantern July 17, 2008 02:16
First comment: 24 June, 2008 24 comments written
ROFL. Booze does make you feel all that.
Wonderer July 17, 2008 02:21
First comment: 22 March, 2007 106 comments written
Alternative ending: "The hill orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
throws you out of the dungeon."
Slowpoke July 17, 2008 02:55
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
Excellent ordering of the messages, in case Wellan didn't mean that already. E++.
acheron July 17, 2008 05:29
First comment: 1 June, 2004 63 comments written
hahaha, we've all been there. Excellent.
Toby Bartels July 17, 2008 08:10
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
Hey, warn me before you present jokes this funny!
projo July 17, 2008 09:51
First comment: 22 October, 2007 2 comments written
Excellent!!
Pix July 17, 2008 11:56
First comment: 17 July, 2008 3 comments written
Alternate ending: "Who was this MaudGet thee hence, nor come again,
Mix not memory with doubt,
Pass, thou deathlike type of pain,
Pass and cease to move about!
'Tis the blot upon the brain
That will show itself without.
        ...
For, Maud, so tender and true,
As long as my life endures
I feel I shall owe you a debt,
That I never can hope to pay;
And if ever I should forget
That I owe this debt to you
And for your sweet sake to yours;
O then, what then shall I say? -
If ever I should forget,
May God make me more wretched
Than ever I have been yet!
        [ Maud, And Other Poems by Alfred, Lord Tennyson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
person anyway?"
Nameless July 17, 2008 12:51
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
Best. Comic. Inquitesometime.
Mordae July 17, 2008 19:29
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
Everything but the "You vomit everywhere!". Nicely done.
Loof July 17, 2008 20:36
First comment: 2 May, 2005 22 comments written
So true. E
Oryx July 17, 2008 20:42
First comment: 27 April, 2007 9 comments written
Brilliant. Best one in a very long time indeed...
321zero July 17, 2008 23:37
First comment: 25 April, 2008 12 comments written
And of course, Dogley lets him get beaten up. Excellent comic.
321zero July 17, 2008 23:42
First comment: 25 April, 2008 12 comments written
By the way, this is officially the best comic ever. Check the statistics.
Antheridium July 18, 2008 03:47
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
I don't know what to say... other than. How can I learn to be as funny as you, Daverd?
Dav July 18, 2008 04:58
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
Antheridium: Drink more potions of booze, of course!
Quint Sakugarne July 18, 2008 06:56
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Rated Good, since, while I realized the joke at the end, I noticed how it didn't quite work with Nethack as the potions wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
identified. Granted, one might say that that might mean all the potions in Nethack are potions of <i>some</i> sort of booze...

Is there a way to see discoveries when you die?

321zero: no, actually. This is still the second-best comic.
. July 18, 2008 14:42
First comment: 7 December, 2005 48 comments written
Hilarious.
Antheridium July 19, 2008 21:12
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
Yeah, Quint, but the comic wouldn't work if it followed normal item rules. I'd put that down to creative license.
Laukku July 20, 2008 10:10
First comment: 20 July, 2008 1 comments written
Made me laugh! XD At panels 8 and 9 I thought that the joke would be that Dudley drank his healing potions first, thus wasting them, and would get killed by the remaining ones. Didn't expect THAT! Excellent.
Ren July 21, 2008 19:46
First comment: 2 April, 2008 35 comments written
Totally great. E for awEsum. Good streak, too.
stelegrey July 24, 2008 05:26
First comment: 24 July, 2008 3 comments written
Pure genious.
idontexist July 25, 2008 05:08
First comment: 19 July, 2008 35 comments written
E. My question was "Which character represents a potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?" Made it even funnier.
Skyrock July 26, 2008 02:21
First comment: 26 July, 2007 41 comments written
As an A for Awesome isn't available, I take the E.
jftsang August 3, 2008 14:28
First comment: 9 May, 2008 13 comments written
Brillaint. For once, this comic is actually funny.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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