Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 9 March, 2007 by Nameless
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              -|-   
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              ..|   
                    
                    
@ *sigh* "With how often I've been dying, I'm feeling rather negative today."
The trollThe troll shambled closer.  He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
doesn't hit! You don't hit the gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
lord! #### ----|- .@. | ... | ------
You don't see here: 
a ruby potionPOTABLE, n.  Suitable for drinking.  Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. You don't zap the wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of fire. -------|- ... | .@. | ---------
You don't find a    
trap. You don't     
slowly lift the     
lid of the chestDantes rapidly cleared away the earth around the chest.  Soon
the center lock appeared, then the handles at each end, all
delicately wrought in the manner of that period when art made
precious even the basest of metals. He took the chest by the
two handles and tried to lift it, but it was impossible. He
tried to open it; it was locked. He inserted the sharp end
of his pickaxe between the chest and the lid and pushed down
on the handle. The lid creaked, then flew open.
Dantes was seized with a sort of giddy fever. He cocked his
gun and placed it beside him. The he closed his eyes like a
child, opened them and stood dumbfounded.
The chest was divided into three compartments. In the first
were shining gold coins. In the second, unpolished gold
ingots packed in orderly stacks. From the third compartment,
which was half full, Dantes picked up handfuls of diamonds,
pearls and rubies. As they fell through his fingers in a
glittering cascade, they gave forth the sound of hail beating
against the windowpanes.
        [ The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. ------------|- .@. | |.. | --------------
It doesn't miss.    
It doesn't hit.     
It doesn't miss!    
You don't live.     
DYNWYPI?            
   q@I          |   
   |II          |   
   --------------   
                    
    -----------     
   / DON'T REST\    
  /   IN PEACE  \   
 /               \  
 |  Someone else |  
 | not killed by |  
 | by nothing in |  
 |   particular  |  
/\\_/(\/(/\)\//\/|  


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Rating

0131012
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 26

Comments

Jac March 9, 2007 02:10
First comment: 26 May, 2006 48 comments written
You don't submit a comment, you don't get a rating, you don't go off under the stairs for a quiet cry...
Kernigh March 9, 2007 04:49
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
I do not understand this comic.
L March 9, 2007 06:54
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
Hey Dion, maybe you could correct the spelling mistake in panel 1?
zem March 9, 2007 08:29
First comment: 5 December, 2005 64 comments written
excellent :)
Little & March 9, 2007 08:38
First comment: 2 November, 2006 5 comments written
That was great. It would be so much fun if there was a status effect that made this happen.
Dion March 9, 2007 09:40
First comment: 2 February, 2004 100 comments written
L: Done. Thanks.
Paradox March 9, 2007 09:43
First comment: 5 October, 2006 17 comments written
Liked especially the "You don't live" bit. Also DYNWYPI, instead of DYWYPI. Depressed Dudley would obviously choose "no", but would the inventory be then listed? Double negative?
Roger Barnett March 9, 2007 15:35
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
I do not not not not dislike this comic, but not really not not really.
Feory March 9, 2007 18:07
First comment: 15 August, 2006 63 comments written
Translation?
Grey Knight March 9, 2007 19:58
First comment: 20 October, 2005 116 comments written
Someone else \ not killed by \ by nothing in \ particular

That's right, yo.
Sakabatou March 9, 2007 21:44
First comment: 17 January, 2007 8 comments written
I laughed
Dargor March 10, 2007 01:50
First comment: 5 March, 2007 3 comments written
it seems Dudley is an "emo" today.
A March 10, 2007 11:45
First comment: 24 October, 2006 70 comments written
heh
Vempele March 10, 2007 12:22
First comment: 4 December, 2006 2 comments written
Not rated 'Poor'. Definitely not rated 'Poor'. :)
Slowpoke March 11, 2007 19:31
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
This cartoon was more like Borat than Dudley. NOT!
Fathead March 13, 2007 23:03
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
I tried to express my opinions by not submitting a comment, but then no one would know what I was thinking.

L and Dion: With all due respect, mightn't it have been better to keep the misspellings, just for, uh, just for, uh...something? (All right, I forget.)

Dudley: killed by apathy. Or something.
Grognor April 22, 2007 09:41
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
If not the score is not naught for naught (not that not is, not not 0 to 0) not then not will not tying a knot not result not in the not score not becoming not something that isn't not something not other than naught for naught?

Try saying it out loud? Works better in a British accent.
Kerta December 15, 2007 16:19
First comment: 12 December, 2007 72 comments written
You do not pass go. You do not collect 200 zorkmids.
kureshii March 17, 2008 02:44
First comment: 8 March, 2008 37 comments written
Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 zorkmids ;)
Newtkiller January 16, 2009 15:54
First comment: 28 October, 2008 127 comments written
But with actual negation it would be pass go. Collect 200 zorkmids.

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