Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 15 December, 2006 by azgor
                    
                    
                    
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@ "A general store! And thank goodness it has..."
@ "Greetings, Sir!" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "The Acme Corporation has entrusted me to show you..." 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "...the handiest and the dandiest thing you've ever seen!" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "And don't you want to know how it works?" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Well first you get an ordinary appleNEWTONIAN, adj. Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe
invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall
to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors
and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say
when.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details...." 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Then you get out the tool that's not a slicer or a dicer..." 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "It's not a chopper in a hopper. What in the hell could it possibly be!?" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Moj-O-Matic!" 
*SPLORT!*           
                    
                    
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@ "It instantly turns apples into applesauce!" 
*SPLASH!*           
                    
                    
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@ "It turns oranges into orangeWhat was the fruit like? Unfortunately, no one can describe
a taste. All I can say is that, compared with those fruits,
the freshest grapefruit you've ever eaten was dull, and the
juiciest orange was dry, and the most melting pear was hard
and woody, and the sweetest wild strawberry was sour. And
there were no seeds or stones, and no wasps. If you had once
eaten that fruit, all the nicest things in this world would
taste like medicines after it. But I can't describe it. You
can't find out what it is like unless you can get to that
country and taste it for yourself.
        [ The Last Battle, by C.S. Lewis ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. juice!" 
*SPLAT!*            
                    
                    
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@ "It quickly scrambles eggs!" 
*SPAM!*             
                    
                    
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@ "It even opens tins!" 
*SPLOOSH!*          
                    
                    
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@ "And did I mention how easy it is to clean?!" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "This mar-
velous device can be yours today for only one easy payment of 29,995!" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "What do you say, is it a sale?!" 
You faint from lack 
of food!            
                    
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http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Apologies to L. Gallagher!

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
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Rating

011145
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 21

Comments

Fathead December 15, 2006 00:32
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Poor guy!
Mikoangelo December 15, 2006 00:38
First comment: 19 October, 2005 82 comments written
A bit anti-climatic, yet quite alright. I giggled at every onomatopoetic word. *turns down the gay-ness*

I gave it a good.
Alcari December 15, 2006 01:18
First comment: 11 September, 2006 93 comments written
*SPAM* hehe
rated good, would have been excellent, but it's not.
  December 15, 2006 01:18
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onomatopoeia
flatluigi December 15, 2006 02:59
First comment: 23 November, 2006 28 comments written
BUT WAIT, there's more!
Eemeli December 15, 2006 12:40
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
And thank goodness it has food... Guessed it in the beginning and didn't find the strip funny. However the shopkeeperThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. reminds me of Stan from Monkey"Listen, man-cub," said the Bear, and his voice rumbled like
thunder on a hot night. "I have taught thee all the Law of
the Jungle for all the peoples of the jungle--except the
Monkey-Folk who live in the trees. They have no law. They
are outcasts. They have no speech of their own, but use the
stolen words which they overhear when they listen, and peep,
and wait up above in the branches. Their way is not our way.
They are without leaders. They have no remembrance. They
boast and chatter and pretend that they are a great people
about to do great affairs in the jungle, but the falling of
a nut turns their minds to laughter and all is forgotten.
We of the jungle have no dealings with them. We do not drink
where the monkeys drink; we do not go where the monkeys go;
we do not hunt where they hunt; we do not die where they die...."
        [ The Jungle Book, by Rudyard Kipling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. Island...
Tux December 15, 2006 14:28
First comment: 6 November, 2006 9 comments written
Marketing droids, ewwwwwwwww...
Roger Barnett December 15, 2006 15:13
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
I know enough real shopkeepers like that :S
Cheesy December 16, 2006 19:27
First comment: 9 December, 2006 10 comments written
@Eemeli: http://stansellseverything.ytmnd.com/
Hyoga December 22, 2006 23:12
First comment: 22 December, 2006 11 comments written
I want one of these!
khearn January 30, 2007 02:55
First comment: 16 January, 2007 15 comments written
In case you don't recognize the routine, http://gallaghersmash.com/

One of the funniest comedians I've ever seen.
Grognor April 21, 2007 08:17
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Yeah.
741 3090
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