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Dudley's dungeon -- Monday, 23 October, 2006

Dudley's dungeon

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Monday, 23 October, 2006 by Simon Richard Clarkstone
The Usenetter says: 
"From: Dudley,      
Subject: YAAD ..."  
 |.............@|   
#|..............|   
#|@.@...........|   
#-@@@...........|   
 |@.............|   
 ----------------   
@ "Argh! A herd of Usenet residents! Must act quickly..."
Use what?           
  #                 
 -+--------------   
 |.............@|   
#|.@............|   
#|.@@...........|   
#-.@............|   
 |..@...........|   
 ----------------   
Open what?          
  #                 
 -+--------------   
 |.............@|   
#|..@...........|   
#|..@@..........|   
#-...@..........|   
 |...@..........|   
 ----------------   
You open the tin"You know salmon, Sarge," said Nobby.
"It is a fish of which I am aware, yes."
"You know they sell kind of slices of it in tins..."
"So I am given to understand, yes."
"Weell...how come all the tins are the same size? Salmon
gets thinner at both ends."
"Interesting point, Nobby. I think-"
        [ Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, and worms escape! -+-------------- |.............@| #|.....@........| #|....@@........| #-....@@........| |..............| ----------------
The Usenetter zaps a
wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
fire. The wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits the Usenetter! The wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits the Usenetter! --more-- #-....@|........| |.....|........| ----------------
You turn into a     
trollThe troll shambled closer.  He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! -+-------------- |.............T| #|.....@........| #|....@@........| #-....@@........| |..............| ----------------
@ "*cough*"
Note: http://www.usingenglish.com/reference/idioms/opening+a+can+of+worms.html


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Rating

002427
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 33

Comments

SomeoneElse October 23, 2006 00:32
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
Heh. This reminds me of the Flaming TrollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
monster in Kingdom of Loathing:
"The smell of brimstone, the hulking body and dragging claws, the sound of "stfu d00d u r teh suk" -- yup, this must be a flaming TrollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
"

Heh. Nice one.
Nobody Special October 23, 2006 01:26
First comment: 8 June, 2005 118 comments written
The vi-keys hit the numeric keypad! The numeric keypad hits the vi-keys!
Kernigh October 23, 2006 01:56
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
The vi-keys hit the numeric keypad! The numeric keypad is killed! You see here a laptop keyboard.
SomeoneElse October 23, 2006 02:40
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
Just a small mistake, it only says "The wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits the ___!" if it's a wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
stiking. In that context, it should say "The bolt of fire hits the Usenetter!"...
Grunt October 23, 2006 03:02
First comment: 25 July, 2006 36 comments written
The trollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
flames! You feel aggravated at the trollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
SQLGuru October 23, 2006 15:15
First comment: 23 October, 2006 77 comments written
Awesome. Of course, why wouldn't some of the Usenetters turn into Trolls instead of you?

The Usenetter turns into a TrollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. The TrollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
starts bashing things with his +1 Inane Blather.

Layne
Roger Barnett October 23, 2006 16:00
First comment: 7 April, 2006 143 comments written
Oh, now this is just brilliant.

Perhaps a new Nethack item - the can of worms. Causes Conflict for 100 turns after opening.
Jmadman311 October 23, 2006 18:00
First comment: 23 May, 2006 17 comments written
That was fantastic. Cheers!
Alcari October 23, 2006 18:42
First comment: 11 September, 2006 93 comments written
wow, great comic.

"You see here a laptop keyboard."
nope, my laptop keypad is on the 789uiojkl keys....

thanks for the reference, I didn't get it at first :)
Mantar October 23, 2006 22:19
First comment: 17 June, 2004 197 comments written
SQLGuru: Dudley cynically incited a flamewar, which makes him a trollThe troll shambled closer. He was perhaps eight feet tall,
perhaps more. His forward stoop, with arms dangling past
thick claw-footed legs to the ground, made it hard to tell.
The hairless green skin moved upon his body. His head was a
gash of a mouth, a yard-long nose, and two eyes which drank
the feeble torchlight and never gave back a gleam.
[...]
Like a huge green spider, the troll's severed hand ran on its
fingers. Across the mounded floor, up onto a log with one
taloned forefinger to hook it over the bark, down again it
scrambled, until it found the cut wrist. And there it grew
fast. The troll's smashed head seethed and knit together.
He clambered back on his feet and grinned at them. The
waning faggot cast red light over his fangs.
        [ Three Hearts and Three Lions, by Poul Anderson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. The others are just everyday flamers. The only thing they're guilty of is taking the bait.
  October 24, 2006 00:45
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
nice
acheron October 24, 2006 00:55
First comment: 1 June, 2004 63 comments written
I don't get it -- everyone knows numpad is better!

(sorry, couldn't resist..)
Kernigh October 24, 2006 04:48
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
The flames burned Tuesday's comic?
A October 24, 2006 09:00
First comment: 24 October, 2006 70 comments written
Haha!
Justice October 25, 2006 00:14
First comment: 25 October, 2006 1 comments written
This was Excellent. Just Excellent.
Nobody Special October 26, 2006 02:23
First comment: 8 June, 2005 118 comments written
I bow"Stand to it, my hearts of gold," said the old bowman as he
passed from knot to knot. "By my hilt! we are in luck this
journey. Bear in mind the old saying of the Company."
"What is that, Aylward?" cried several, leaning on their bows
and laughing at him.
"'Tis the master-bowyer's rede: 'Every bow well bent. Every
shaft well sent. Every stave well nocked. Every string well
locked.' There, with that jingle in his head, a bracer on
his left hand, a shooting glove on his right, and a
farthing's-worth of wax in his girdle, what more doth a
bowman need?"
"It would not be amiss," said Hordle John, "if under his
girdle he had four farthings'-worth of wine."
        [ The White Company, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
in deference to Kernigh.
Fathead October 30, 2006 21:53
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Righteous.
Patashu@hotmail.com December 7, 2006 09:34
First comment: 23 June, 2006 18 comments written
This one is just brilliant.
Grognor April 20, 2007 07:28
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Brilliant. Genious.

Nope. No sarcastic animosity here. Excellent!
Grognor April 20, 2007 07:29
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
That's right. Genious.
1338h4x May 10, 2007 23:23
First comment: 19 September, 2006 102 comments written
I love it too. And Kingdom of Loathing is awesome.


To weigh in on the issue, I must ask: Out of all possible key configs, hykulnjb? I'm guessing the DevTeam somehow thought the default should be for something other than qwerty keyboards? Such an awkward setup.
Strephon May 19, 2007 05:41
First comment: 12 March, 2007 17 comments written
You must not be an old-school Unix user--that's the direction key configuration from vi.
Custard January 31, 2008 08:53
First comment: 1 December, 2007 10 comments written
It's more normally written "hjklyubn", anyway.

And, Alcari, good thing the "uiojkl" keys aren't used while in numpad mode, huh? OH WAI--

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