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Dudley's dungeon -- Monday, 9 October, 2006

Dudley's dungeon

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Monday, 9 October, 2006 by L
Hello Wesley,       
welcome to NetHack! 
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@ "About time Dudley let me adventure on my own for a bit."
                    
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@ Quaff fountainRest! This little Fountain runs
Thus for aye: -- It never stays
For the look of summer suns,
Nor the cold of winter days.
Whose'er shall wander near,
When the Syrian heat is worst,
Let him hither come, nor fear
Lest he may not slake his thirst:
He will find this little river
Running still, as bright as ever.
Let him drink, and onward hie,
Bearing but in thought, that I,
Erotas, bade the Naiad fall,
And thank the great god Pan for all!
        [ For a Fountain, by Bryan Waller Procter ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

You unleash a waterDay after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere
Nor any drop to drink.
        [ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor
         Coleridge ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
demonIt is often very hard to discover what any given Demon looks
like, apart from a general impression of large size, huge
fangs, staring eyes, many limbs, and an odd color; but all
accounts agree that Demons are very powerful, very Magic (in
a nonhuman manner), and made of some substance that can squeeze
through a keyhole yet not be pierced with a Sword. This makes
them difficult to deal with, even on the rare occasions when
they are friendly.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
!
@ "Gaah! Don't hurt me!"
                    
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& "I am thankful. Three wishes I shall offer you."
@ "Wow! Really?!"
                    
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@ "Well, I'd better be prepared... I wish for some really good armour!"
                    
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g - a +4 plate mail. You rebalance your load. Movement is very hard.
                    
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@ Wear g
"Argg, gee. I guess I'd better wish I was strong enough to carry this armour!"
                    
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H "Alright, one last wish... I'd better wish for what I really want..."
                    
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    ------------    
   /  REST IN   \   
  /    PEACE     \  
 /                \ 
 |     Wesley     | 
 |    turned to   | 
 |     stone      | 
 |    *  *  *     | 
 /\\_/(\/(/\)\//\/| 


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Rating

12673
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 19

Comments

Grunt October 9, 2006 00:06
First comment: 25 July, 2006 36 comments written
I've seen too many wishing puns for them to be funny any more.
SomeoneElse October 9, 2006 00:42
First comment: 11 September, 2006 143 comments written
Except, a pick-axeThe mine is full of holes;
With the wound of pickaxes.
But look at the goldsmith's store.
There, there is gold everywhere.
        [ Divan-i Kebir Meter 2, by Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
can break stone, so the wish isn't even true.
Nobody Special October 9, 2006 02:13
First comment: 8 June, 2005 118 comments written
Yes, SomeoneElse, but "the sharpest sword" can't.
  October 9, 2006 09:00
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Couldn't it just have turned him into a stone golem"The original story harks back, so they say, to the sixteenth
century. Using long-lost formulas from the Kabbala, a rabbi is
said to have made an artificial man -- the so-called Golem -- to
help ring the bells in the Synagogue and for all kinds of other
menial work.
"But he hadn't made a full man, and it was animated by some sort
of vegetable half-life. What life it had, too, so the story
runs, was only derived from the magic charm placed behind its
teeth each day, that drew down to itself what was known as the
`free sidereal strength of the universe.'
"One evening, before evening prayers, the rabbi forgot to take
the charm out of the Golem's mouth, and it fell into a frenzy.
It raged through the dark streets, smashing everything in its
path, until the rabbi caught up with it, removed the charm, and
destroyed it. Then the Golem collapsed, lifeless. All that was
left of it was a small clay image, which you can still see in
the Old Synagogue." ...
[ The Golem, by Gustav Meyrink ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
?
ThomasLB October 9, 2006 12:25
First comment: 7 September, 2006 13 comments written
I loved the "Gaah! Don't hurt me!"

The next version of Nethack should have a #grovel command.
Alcari October 9, 2006 19:57
First comment: 11 September, 2006 93 comments written
wishing puns are always good.
not excellent, but good.
Fathead October 14, 2006 03:01
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
I never tire of them.

Why are djinnis always stupid?
G w /oPoly October 14, 2006 23:41
First comment: 14 October, 2006 1 comments written
I don't think they're stupid so much as using the wrong method of granting wishes.

"Please say the first three letters of the miracle you would like."
"H-E-A."
"You have selected 'Heat Death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
'. If this is correct, chant 1. If not, chant 2 for a list of alternatives."
"Two! Two!"
"You have selected 'Colon Tumor'..."

Kind of like that, only not plagiarised from Order of the Stick.
AnMaster October 23, 2006 15:12
First comment: 22 October, 2006 26 comments written
I'm sure I have seen this one but with Dudley wishing somewhere during 2004 or 2005. No one else spoted (sp?) it?
Fathead November 15, 2006 05:59
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
ThomasLB:
> The next version of Nethack should have a #grovel command.

@ #grovel

"Oh wise and benevolent OracleDelphi under towering Parnassus, where Apollo's oracle was,
plays an important part in mythology. Castalia was its
sacred spring; Cephissus its river. It was held to be the
center of the world, so many pilgrims came to it, from
foreign countries as well as Greece. No other shrine rivaled
it. The answers to the questions asked by the anxious
seekers for Truth were delivered by a priestess who went into
a trance before she spoke.
        [ Mythology, by Edith Hamilton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, I beseech thee..."
Grognor April 20, 2007 05:10
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
But waterDay after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere
Nor any drop to drink.
        [ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor
         Coleridge ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
demons only grant one wish.

But I laughed. Ergo, excellent.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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