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Wednesday, 9 August, 2006 by Garote
n - a newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
corpse ---- ----- ...| |.... ...| ------- |.... ...| |.....| |.... -+-- |.._@.| --+-- |.@...| |.....| ---+---
@ "Another sacrifice. Artifact, here I come! Now to offer it..."
Engrave with what?  
o - A magic markerThe pen is mightier than the sword.
        [ Richelieu, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
...| |.... ...| ------- |.... ...| |.....| |.... -+-- |..@..| --+-- |...@.| |.....| ---+---
@ "AIGH! No, '#o', not 'Eo'! OFFER, not ENGRAVE!"
Huan TiThe first of five mythical Chinese emperors, Huan Ti is known
as the yellow emperor. He rules the _moving_ heavens, as
opposed to the _dark_ heavens. He is an inventor, said to
have given mankind among other things, the wheel, armour, and
the compass. He is the god of fortune telling and war.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
roars. "You profane my shrine!" ...| |.... ...| ------- |.... ...| |.....| |.... -+-- |..@..| --+-- |...@.| |.....| ---+---
@ "No, wait! I was just..."
The ligntning bolt  
whizzes by you! The 
ligntning bounces!  
...|  -----\-  |....
...|  |..././  |....
-+--  |..@./|  --+--
      |...@.|       
      |.....|       
      ---+---       
@ "Look out!"
@ "EEEEK!"
The priestess of    
Huan TiThe first of five mythical Chinese emperors, Huan Ti is known
as the yellow emperor. He rules the _moving_ heavens, as
opposed to the _dark_ heavens. He is an inventor, said to
have given mankind among other things, the wheel, armour, and
the compass. He is the god of fortune telling and war.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
is killed! ...| |.... ...| ------- |.... ...| |.....| |.... -+-- |..@..| --+-- |...%.| |.....| ---+---
You sense that Huan 
Ti is displeased    
with himself.       
...|  -------  |....
...|  |.....|  |....
-+--  |..@..|  --+--
      |...%.|       
      |.....|       
      ---+---       
@ "Learn to aim, you jerk!"
Huan TiThe first of five mythical Chinese emperors, Huan Ti is known
as the yellow emperor. He rules the _moving_ heavens, as
opposed to the _dark_ heavens. He is an inventor, said to
have given mankind among other things, the wheel, armour, and
the compass. He is the god of fortune telling and war.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
sulks. ---- ----- ...| |.... ...| ------- |.... ...| |.....| |.... -+-- |..@..| --+-- |...%.| |.....| ---+---
Your sacrifice is   
consumed in a burst 
of flame!           
...|  -------  |....
...|  |.....|  |....
-+--  |..@..|  --+--
      |...%.|       
      |.....|       
      ---+---       
@ "That's what I thought."
You summon Newtoghu!
Newtoghu hits!      
...|           |....
...|  -------  |....
...|  |.....|  |....
-+--  |.&@..|  --+--
      |...%.|       
      |.....|       
      ---+---       
@ "Oh you chaotic BASTARD!"
* True story about the engraving, of course.


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Rating

001519
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 25

Comments

Fathead August 9, 2006 00:06
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
>True story about the engraving, of course.

The rest of the story is changed to protect the innocent.
Fathead August 9, 2006 00:18
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Cute!
Beowulf August 9, 2006 00:49
First comment: 8 January, 2005 114 comments written
Newtoghu, awesome.
  August 9, 2006 01:21
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
A ripper!
kakka August 9, 2006 09:22
First comment: 27 July, 2006 2 comments written
Demogorgons are so hot
shel August 9, 2006 19:57
First comment: 19 August, 2005 107 comments written
Newto-goo
The Bard of Blasphemy August 10, 2006 00:41
First comment: 13 May, 2005 46 comments written
This cracked me up. Good job.

"Huan TiThe first of five mythical Chinese emperors, Huan Ti is known
as the yellow emperor. He rules the _moving_ heavens, as
opposed to the _dark_ heavens. He is an inventor, said to
have given mankind among other things, the wheel, armour, and
the compass. He is the god of fortune telling and war.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
punishes himself for his bad behaviour."
scwizard August 29, 2006 02:50
First comment: 18 August, 2006 12 comments written
Having dealt with Huan-tiThe first of five mythical Chinese emperors, Huan Ti is known
as the yellow emperor. He rules the _moving_ heavens, as
opposed to the _dark_ heavens. He is an inventor, said to
have given mankind among other things, the wheel, armour, and
the compass. He is the god of fortune telling and war.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
myself I can say that this comic is not far from reality :D
Fathead November 15, 2006 05:07
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
The Newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Comics
(69)

http://www.nicolaas.net/dudley/index.php?f=20060711 Previous
http://www.nicolaas.net/dudley/index.php?f=20060904 Next

A dead newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
is still a Newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
....
khearn January 29, 2007 22:30
First comment: 16 January, 2007 15 comments written
Been there, done that. :-)
Kassil the Erratic April 17, 2007 05:25
First comment: 17 April, 2007 28 comments written
What next, Newtzilla?
Grognor April 19, 2007 07:20
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
I see Dudley has wisely chosen monkOne day, an army general invited the Buddhist monk I-Hsiu
(literally, "One Rest") to his military head office for a
dinner. I-Hsiu was not accustomed to wearing luxurious
clothings and so he just put on an old ordinary casual
robe to go to the military base. To him, "form is void".

As he approached the base, two soldiers appeared before him
and shouted, "Where does this beggar came from? Identify
yourself! You do not have permission to be around here!"

"My name is I-Hsiu Dharma Master. I am invited by your
general for a supper."

The two soldiers examined the monk closely and said, "You
liar. How come my general invites such a shabby monk to
dinner? He invites the very solemn venerable I-Hsiu to our
base for a great ceremony today, not you. Now, get out!"

I-Hsiu was unable to convince the soldiers that he was
indeed the invited guest, so he returned to the temple
and changed to a very formal solemn ceremonial robe for
the dinner. And as he returned to the military base, the
soldiers observed that he was such a great Buddhist monk,
let him in with honour.

At the dinner, I-Hsiu sat in front of the table full of
food but, instead of putting the food into his month, he
picked up the food with his chopsticks and put it into
his sleeves. The general was curious, and whispered to
him, "This is very embarrassing. Do you want to take
some food back to the temple? I will order the cook to
prepare some take out orders for you." "No" replied the
monk. "When I came here, I was not allowed into the
base by your soldiers until I wear this ceremonial robe.
You do not invite me for a dinner. You invite my robe.
Therefore, my robe is eating the food, not me."
        [ Dining with a General - a Zen Buddhism Koan ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.

Good job.
Strephon April 21, 2007 05:07
First comment: 12 March, 2007 17 comments written
Or Priest[...] For the two priests were talking exactly like priests,
piously, with learning and leisure, about the most aerial
enigmas of theology. The little Essex priest spoke the more
simply, with his round face turned to the strengthening stars;
the other talked with his head bowed, as if he were not even
worthy to look at them. But no more innocently clerical
conversation could have been heard in any white Italian cloister
or black Spanish cathedral. The first he heard was the tail of
one of Father Brown's sentences, which ended: "... what they
really meant in the Middle Ages by the heavens being
incorruptible." The taller priest nodded his bowed head and
said: "Ah, yes, these modern infidels appeal to their reason;
but who can look at those millions of worlds and not feel that
there may well be wonderful universes above us where reason is
utterly unreasonable?"
        [ The Innocence of Father Brown, by G.K. Chesterton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
...
  April 27, 2008 04:41
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Ahahaha! Awesome!

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