Dudley's dungeon

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Tuesday, 25 October, 2005 by L
                    
                    
                    
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G "Greetings, Gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. With The Wand Of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. Death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. here. Have you any last requests?" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "How can you do this, GWTWOD? How can you justify your work ethically?" 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "Let's look at this from a Kantian deontological standpoint." 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "The Cate-
gorical Imperative means that the moral worth of an action is based on motive." 
                    
                    
                    
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@ "As your motive is purely self-interest, you don't have any moral grounds for killing me." 
                    
                    
                    
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G "True, true. However, young scallywag, I follow a utilitarian ethical system." 
                    
                    
                    
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G "Although I may be acting purely within my own self-interest..." 
                    
                    
                    
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G "By not killing you it is inevitable that you will go on to kill several hundred monsters." 
                    
                    
                    
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G "Also, your ultimate goal is to place absolute power within the domain of a godGoddesses and Gods operate in ones, threesomes, or whole
pantheons of nine or more (see Religion). Most of them claim
to have made the world, and this is indeed a likely claim in
the case of threesomes or pantheons: Fantasyland does have
the air of having been made by a committee. But all Goddesses
and Gods, whether they say they made the world or not, have
very detailed short-term plans for it which they are determined
to carry out. Consequently they tend to push people into the
required actions by the use of coincidence or Prophecy, or just
by narrowing down your available choices of what to do next:
if a deity is pushing you, things will go miserably badly until
there is only one choice left to you.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details...." 
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    TyrYet remains that one of the Aesir who is called Tyr:
he is most daring, and best in stoutness of heart, and he
has much authority over victory in battle; it is good for
men of valor to invoke him.  It is a proverb, that he is
Tyr-valiant, who surpasses other men and does not waver.
He is wise, so that it is also said, that he that is wisest
is Tyr-prudent.  This is one token of his daring:  when the
Aesir enticed Fenris-Wolf to take upon him the fetter Gleipnir,
the wolf did not believe them, that they would loose him,
until they laid Tyr's hand into his mouth as a pledge.  But
when the Aesir would not loose him, then he bit off the hand
at the place now called 'the wolf's joint;' and Tyr is one-
handed, and is not called a reconciler of men.
                [ The Prose Edda, by Snorri Sturluson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details.  OdinAlso called Sigtyr (god of Victory), Val-father (father of
the slain), One-Eyed, Hanga-god (god of the hanged), Farma-
god (god of cargoes), Hapta-god (god of prisoners), and
Othin.  He is the prime god of the Norsemen:  god of war and
victory, wisdom and prophecy, poetry, the dead, air and wind,
hospitality, and magic.
As the god of war and victory, Odin is ruler of the Valkyries,
warrior-maidens who lived in the halls of Valhalla in Asgard,
the hall of dead heroes where he held his court.
These chosen ones will defend the realm of the gods against
the Frost Giants on the final day of reckoning, Ragnarok.
As god of the wind, Odin rides through the air on his eight-
footed horse, Sleipnir, wielding Gungner, his spear, normally
accompanied by his ravens, Hugin and Munin, who he would also
use as his spies.
As a god of hospitality, he enjoys visiting the earth in
disguise to see how people were behaving and to see how they
would treat him, not knowing who he was.
Odin is usually represented as a one-eyed wise old man with a
long white beard and a wide-brimmed hat (he gave one of his
eyes to Mimir, the guardian of the well of wisdom in Hel, in
exchange for a draught of knowledge).

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details.   LokiLoki, or Lopt, is described in Snorri's _Edda_ as being
"pleasing and handsome in appearance, evil in character, and
very capricious in behaviour".  He is the son of the giant
Farbauti and of Laufey.
Loki is the Norse god of cunning, evil, thieves, and fire.
He hated the other gods and wanted to ruin them and overthrow
the universe.  He committed many murders.  As a thief, he
stole Freyja's necklace, Thor's belt and gauntlets of power,
and the apples of youth.  Able to shapechange at will, he is
said to have impersonated at various times a mare, flea, fly,
falcon, seal, and an old crone.  As a mare he gave birth to
Odin's horse Sleipnir.  He also allegedly sired the serpent
Midgard, the mistress of the netherworld, Hel, and the wolf
Fenrir, who will devour the sun at Ragnarok.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed.  See license for details.
G "...who is only representative of approximately 30% of the world's creatures." 
                    
                    
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--Dudley---Everyone-
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G "Thus, a major loss by you is offset by several gains by others." 
                    
                    
                    
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G "And another thing." 
                    
                    
                    
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G "I gots me a Wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. O' friggin Death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details., fool! YaThe arrow of choice of the samurai, ya are made of very
straight bamboo, and are tipped with hardened steel.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. think I'm NOT gonna use it!?" 
    ------------    
   /  REST IN   \   
  /    PEACE     \  
 /                \ 
 |     Dudley     | 
 |  axiologically | 
 |     owned      | 
 |    *  *  *     | 
 /\\_/(\/(/\)\//\/|
@ "Hmm... now that I think about it, your case is pretty compelling."
http://dudley.nicolaas.net

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

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Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 24

Comments

  October 25, 2005 00:17
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
That was frickin' hilarious!
Nobody Special October 25, 2005 00:28
First comment: 8 June, 2005 118 comments written
Dudley's a ValkyrieThe Valkyries were the thirteen choosers of the slain, the
beautiful warrior-maids of Odin who rode through the air and
over the sea. They watched the progress of the battle and
selected the heroes who were to fall fighting. After they
were dead, the maidens rewarded the heroes by kissing them
and then led their souls to Valhalla, where the warriors
lived happily in an ideal existence, drinking and eating
without restraint and fighting over again the battles in
which they died and in which they had won their deathless
fame.
        [ The Encyclopaedia of Myths and Legends of All
                Nations, by Herbert Robinson and Knox
                Wilson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.? This is new. I think.

The gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details., however, is forgetting the fact that PC's represent humanThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. beings, while all NPC's only represent the computer, and a humanThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.'s wants and needs > a computer's. The computer doesn't make a fuss if you pwn all three Riders ten times each, does it?
Nobody Special October 25, 2005 00:31
First comment: 8 June, 2005 118 comments written
Actually, come to think of it, he could be a Priest[...] For the two priests were talking exactly like priests,
piously, with learning and leisure, about the most aerial
enigmas of theology. The little Essex priest spoke the more
simply, with his round face turned to the strengthening stars;
the other talked with his head bowed, as if he were not even
worthy to look at them. But no more innocently clerical
conversation could have been heard in any white Italian cloister
or black Spanish cathedral. The first he heard was the tail of
one of Father Brown's sentences, which ended: "... what they
really meant in the Middle Ages by the heavens being
incorruptible." The taller priest nodded his bowed head and
said: "Ah, yes, these modern infidels appeal to their reason;
but who can look at those millions of worlds and not feel that
there may well be wonderful universes above us where reason is
utterly unreasonable?"
        [ The Innocence of Father Brown, by G.K. Chesterton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details..
Kernigh October 25, 2005 01:58
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
"Mediocre". It would be "Excellent" except for the second-to-last panel.
Garbled October 25, 2005 07:40
First comment: 20 September, 2005 12 comments written
Second to last panel was hysterical. The gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. gets his chance to star. :)
shel October 25, 2005 10:50
First comment: 19 August, 2005 107 comments written
ye-es
jemarch October 25, 2005 11:37
First comment: 10 October, 2005 14 comments written
great!
Grey Knight October 25, 2005 13:28
First comment: 20 October, 2005 116 comments written
I liked it! ^_^
Aaron October 25, 2005 16:30
First comment: 11 March, 2004 32 comments written
Was the ValkyrieThe Valkyries were the thirteen choosers of the slain, the
beautiful warrior-maids of Odin who rode through the air and
over the sea. They watched the progress of the battle and
selected the heroes who were to fall fighting. After they
were dead, the maidens rewarded the heroes by kissing them
and then led their souls to Valhalla, where the warriors
lived happily in an ideal existence, drinking and eating
without restraint and fighting over again the battles in
which they died and in which they had won their deathless
fame.
        [ The Encyclopaedia of Myths and Legends of All
                Nations, by Herbert Robinson and Knox
                Wilson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. class chosen for its short deity names?
scorion November 6, 2005 20:11
First comment: 6 November, 2005 1 comments written
A good example of how these cartoons can be quite funny.. although, one would have to have some base knowledge in ethics to fully understand this one.
Fathead July 18, 2006 20:48
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Hum? Where did G get his barcharts?
1338h4x September 24, 2006 16:17
First comment: 19 September, 2006 102 comments written
Awesome. L, you just get funnier and funnier.
Grognor April 16, 2007 09:15
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Awesome. L, you're not even gonna read this.
Squeegy August 6, 2007 07:07
First comment: 6 August, 2007 17 comments written
Hahaha, very compelling case.
447 3190
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