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Dudley's dungeon -- Friday, 17 June, 2005

Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 17 June, 2005 by roncli
u - A blessed       
figurineThen it appeared in Paris at just about the time that Paris
was full of Carlists who had to get out of Spain. One of
them must have brought it with him, but, whoever he was, it's
likely he knew nothing about its real value. It had been --
no doubt as a precaution during the Carlist trouble in Spain
-- painted or enameled over to look like nothing more than a
fairly interesting black statuette. And in that disguise,
sir, it was, you might say, kicked around Paris for seventy
years by private owners and dealers too stupid to see what
it was under the skin.
        [ The Maltese Falcon, by Dashiell Hammett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of an ArchonArchons are the predominant inhabitants of the heavens.
However unusual their appearance, they are not generally
evil. They are beings at peace with themselves and their
surroundings.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
+---------+ |.........| |.........| .....@....| |.........| +---------+
@ "Woot! It's my lucky day!"
Call a tame ArchonArchons are the predominant inhabitants of the heavens.
However unusual their appearance, they are not generally
evil. They are beings at peace with themselves and their
surroundings.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
: Archie +---------+ |.........| |.........| .....@A...| |.........| +---------+
@ "Alright Archie, here's the plan... you distract the soldiers while I..."
Suddenly, you notice
a trapperThe trapper is a creature which has evolved a chameleon-like
ability to blend into the dungeon surroundings. It captures
its prey by remaining very still and blending into the
surrounding dungeon features, until an unsuspecting creature
passes by. It wraps itself around its prey and digests it.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. +---------+ |.........| |......t..| .....@....| |.........| +---------+
t "BUUUUURP!!"
@ "You bastard."
Based on a true story.


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Rating

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Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 6

Comments

Lawful ihope June 17, 2005 01:39
First comment: 7 June, 2005 29 comments written
Thtwstfst.
Nameless June 17, 2005 02:34
First comment: 29 December, 2004 281 comments written
You know... that's not really that funny.
Potman June 17, 2005 07:57
First comment: 17 June, 2005 8 comments written
That's happened to me once. I had a pet archonArchons are the predominant inhabitants of the heavens.
However unusual their appearance, they are not generally
evil. They are beings at peace with themselves and their
surroundings.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and purple wormA gargantuan version of the harmless rain-worm, the purple
worm poses a huge threat to the ordinary adventurer. It is
known to swallow whole and digest its victims within only a
few minutes. These worms are always on guard, sensitive
to the most minute vibrations in the earth, but may also
be awakened by a remote shriek.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
ate it.
Eskimo June 17, 2005 08:23
First comment: 14 April, 2004 166 comments written
It's funny enough when you have lost your 5 first Archons as a pacifist and still ascended. That would be like ummm, 2% of the nh population? 0.5%?
Eemeli June 17, 2005 11:47
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
Yep, that is sad :'(
I once lost my tame Arch-LichBut on its heels ere the sunset faded, there came a second
apparition, striding with incredible strides and halting when
it loomed almost upon me in the red twilight-the monstrous mummy
of some ancient king still crowned with untarnished gold but
turning to my gaze a visage that more than time or the worm had
wasted. Broken swathings flapped about the skeleton legs, and
above the crown that was set with sapphires and orange rubies, a
black something swayed and nodded horribly; but, for an instant,
I did not dream what it was. Then, in its middle, two oblique
and scarlet eyes opened and glowed like hellish coals, and two
ophidian fangs glittered in an ape-like mouth. A squat, furless,
shapeless head on a neck of disproportionate extent leaned
unspeakably down and whispered in the mummy's ear. Then, with
one stride, the titanic lich took half the distance between us,
and from out the folds of the tattered sere-cloth a gaunt arm
arose, and fleshless, taloned fingers laden with glowering gems,
reached out and fumbled for my throat . . .
        [ The Abominations of Yondo, Clark Ashton Smith, 1926 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
to a purple wormA gargantuan version of the harmless rain-worm, the purple
worm poses a huge threat to the ordinary adventurer. It is
known to swallow whole and digest its victims within only a
few minutes. These worms are always on guard, sensitive
to the most minute vibrations in the earth, but may also
be awakened by a remote shriek.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
L June 17, 2005 13:15
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
Wait, why do the corners of the room have doors in them? Unopenable ones at that?

You think Dion would've at least picked up on that anomaly.
Plague June 17, 2005 14:58
First comment: 31 January, 2005 102 comments written
@L - I don't think they're doors at all.

I'm guessing the next one's "Ode to an ArchonArchons are the predominant inhabitants of the heavens.
However unusual their appearance, they are not generally
evil. They are beings at peace with themselves and their
surroundings.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
"
Nifrith June 17, 2005 20:44
First comment: 25 April, 2005 18 comments written
There's a couple of things here.. I think it's a South Park joke (Archie, Kenny), secondly, I believe some versions of NetHack actually show corners of rooms as '+', because doors cannot exist there without using a spell or wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. They'd probably be grey '+'s to match the walls as well, but I'm not sure. Fun stuff, we're back to those 'amusing situations we run in to', rather than story-driven stuff. Both are nice.
Zeddi June 18, 2005 05:52
First comment: 5 June, 2004 80 comments written
Normal 3.4.3 dont have +s as a corner... slashem also dont have. uhm... but it could be a refer to Southpark - nevermind, i dont get it.
M June 18, 2005 10:54
First comment: 1 June, 2005 13 comments written
...it's obviously not some weird referance, or some old version. It's just that roncli thought that + looked better than - for a corner.
Eemeli June 18, 2005 12:11
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
Archie=Kenny?
Kernigh June 18, 2005 18:39
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
In nethack 3.4.3, the dungeon option allows you to configure things like the appearance of corners. According to the Nethack Guidebook (http://nethack.org/v343/Guidebook.html#_TOCentry_43), the default is S|--------||.-|++##.##<><>_|\#{}.}..##S#} (use a space instead of S) and:

The order of the symbols is: solid rockBilbo saw that the moment had come when he must do something.
He could not get up at the brutes and he had nothing to shoot
with; but looking about he saw that in this place there were
many stones lying in what appeared to be a now dry little
watercourse. Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and
it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one
that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise
throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and
even birds, got out of his way as quick as lightning if they
saw him stoop; and even grownup he had still spent a deal of
his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand,
bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and
throwing sort - indeed he could do lots of things, besides
blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I
haven't time to tell you about. There is no time now. While
he was picking up stones, the spider had reached Bombur, and
soon he would have been dead. At that moment Bilbo threw.
The stone struck the spider plunk on the head, and it dropped
senseless off the tree, flop to the ground, with all its legs
curled up.
        [ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, vertical wall, horizontal wall, upper left corner, upper right corner, lower left corner, lower right corner, cross wall, upward T wall, downward T wall, leftward T wall, rightward T wall, no doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, vertical open doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, horizontal open doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, vertical closed doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, horizontal closed doorThrough me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.
        [ The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy of Dante
                Alighieri, translated by H.F. Cary ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, iron bars, treeI think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
        [ Trees - Joyce Kilmer ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, floor of a room, dark corridor, lit corridor, stairs up, stairs down, ladder up, ladder down, altarAltars are of three types:
1. In Temples. These are for Sacrifices [...]. The stone
top will have grooves for blood, and the whole will be covered
with _dry brown stains of a troubling kind_ from former
Sacrifices.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late;
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his gods?
        [ Lays of Ancient Rome, by Thomas B. Macaulay ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, grave"Who'd care to dig 'em," said the old, old man,
"Those six feet marked in chalk?
Much I talk, more I walk;
Time I were buried," said the old, old man.
        [ Three Songs to the Same Tune, by W.B. Yeats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, throneMethought I saw the footsteps of a throne
Which mists and vapours from mine eyes did shroud--
Nor view of who might sit thereon allowed;
But all the steps and ground about were strown
With sights the ruefullest that flesh and bone
Ever put on; a miserable crowd,
Sick, hale, old, young, who cried before that cloud,
"Thou art our king,
O Death! to thee we groan."
Those steps I clomb; the mists before me gave
Smooth way; and I beheld the face of one
Sleeping alone within a mossy cave,
With her face up to heaven; that seemed to have
Pleasing remembrance of a thought foregone;
A lovely Beauty in a summer grave!
        [ Sonnet, by William Wordsworth ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, kitchen sink, fountainRest! This little Fountain runs
Thus for aye: -- It never stays
For the look of summer suns,
Nor the cold of winter days.
Whose'er shall wander near,
When the Syrian heat is worst,
Let him hither come, nor fear
Lest he may not slake his thirst:
He will find this little river
Running still, as bright as ever.
Let him drink, and onward hie,
Bearing but in thought, that I,
Erotas, bade the Naiad fall,
And thank the great god Pan for all!
        [ For a Fountain, by Bryan Waller Procter ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, pool or moat, ice, lava, vertical lowered drawbridge, horizontal lowered drawbridge, vertical raised drawbridge, horizontal raised drawbridge, air, cloudI wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
        [ I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud, by William Wordsworth ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, under waterDay after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere
Nor any drop to drink.
        [ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor
         Coleridge ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. You might want to use `+' for the corners and T walls for a more aesthetic, boxier display.
Kernigh June 19, 2005 03:46
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
(read scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of identify)
t - a large mouth of summon monster
t "BUUUUURP!"
A ravenBut the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered -- not a feather then he fluttered--
Till I scarcely more than muttered, 'other friends have flown before--
On the morrow *he* will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
        Then the bird said, 'Nevermore.'
                        [ The Raven - Edgar Allan Poe ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and five umber hulks appear! You have a bad feeling about this.
The ravenBut the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered -- not a feather then he fluttered--
Till I scarcely more than muttered, 'other friends have flown before--
On the morrow *he* will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
        Then the bird said, 'Nevermore.'
                        [ The Raven - Edgar Allan Poe ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! The ravenBut the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered -- not a feather then he fluttered--
Till I scarcely more than muttered, 'other friends have flown before--
On the morrow *he* will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
        Then the bird said, 'Nevermore.'
                        [ The Raven - Edgar Allan Poe ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
blinds you.
@ "Thanks for the help."
Nesman June 19, 2005 08:35
First comment: 4 January, 2005 112 comments written
Don't umber hulks confuse you with their gaze? Being blind might not be so bad in Kernigh's situation.
M June 20, 2005 03:06
First comment: 1 June, 2005 13 comments written
right, which is what made "thanks for the help" the punchline
Fathead June 20, 2006 01:29
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Sure it's funny! It happened to someone else, someone ficticious!
  April 14, 2007 18:51
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
This is classic RNG.
Grognor April 14, 2007 19:36
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
DAMNIT! How many comics has it forgotten my name for?
Kassil the Erratic April 18, 2007 04:19
First comment: 17 April, 2007 28 comments written
All of them. I tricked it into reading a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of amensia.
Grognor May 13, 2007 10:12
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
CurseCurses are longstanding ill-wishings which, in Fantasyland,
often manifest as semisentient. They have to be broken or
dispelled. The method varies according to the type and
origin of the Curse:
[...]
4. Curses on Rings and Swords. You have problems. Rings
have to be returned whence they came, preferably at over a
thousand degrees Fahrenheit, and the Curse means you won't
want to do this. Swords usually resist all attempts to
raise their Curses. Your best source is to hide the Sword
or give it to someone you dislike.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
you, Kassil the Erratic! You've been the bane of my existance for far too long. DIE!

Grognor hits you with a wide-angle lightning beam!
Grognor hits you with a wide-angle disintegration beam!
Grognor hits! Grognor bites! Grognor kicks! Grognor stings! Grognor butts!
Grognor casts a spell! Arch-liches appear from nowhere!

DYWYPI?

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