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Dudley's dungeon -- Friday, 22 April, 2005

Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 22 April, 2005 by eneekmot@yahoo.com
                    
                    
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@ "It's a GOOD thing."
Comic v of 13.


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Number of ratings: 8

Comments

eneekmot@yahoo.com April 22, 2005 01:16
First comment: 29 December, 2004 57 comments written
I know you're not going to get it, but try to guess before you scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
down...

















It's Martha Stewart.
Beowulf April 22, 2005 02:57
First comment: 8 January, 2005 114 comments written
I don't get it (but then I never have paid any attention to Martha Stewart).
Violist April 22, 2005 06:35
First comment: 25 June, 2004 206 comments written
Martha Stewart played nethack?
Jack Simth April 22, 2005 07:26
First comment: 3 January, 2005 59 comments written
Perhaps she is trying out new cookbook?
korodzik@poczta.onet.pl April 22, 2005 09:04
First comment: 20 April, 2005 23 comments written
Who is Martha Stewart?
L April 22, 2005 12:19
First comment: 10 February, 2005 285 comments written
I prefer jokes over riddles, myself.
Eemeli April 22, 2005 12:40
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
Martha Stewart?
I thought this was a contuniation for the comic where Dudley finds the RingThree Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
eneekmot@yahoo.com April 22, 2005 15:32
First comment: 29 December, 2004 57 comments written
I thought it was vague too. In case you haven't noticed, I've done 13 comics for each of the different roles. It was the only thing I could think of for the ValkyrieThe Valkyries were the thirteen choosers of the slain, the
beautiful warrior-maids of Odin who rode through the air and
over the sea. They watched the progress of the battle and
selected the heroes who were to fall fighting. After they
were dead, the maidens rewarded the heroes by kissing them
and then led their souls to Valhalla, where the warriors
lived happily in an ideal existence, drinking and eating
without restraint and fighting over again the battles in
which they died and in which they had won their deathless
fame.
        [ The Encyclopaedia of Myths and Legends of All
                Nations, by Herbert Robinson and Knox
                Wilson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
korodzik@poczta.onet.pl April 22, 2005 15:40
First comment: 20 April, 2005 23 comments written
Why does it say ' Comic v of 13.'??
Kernigh April 22, 2005 16:06
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
A random role I often pick
But this list is in nethack (sic):

a - an ArcheologistArcheology is the search for fact, not truth. [...]
So forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel,
and digging up the world. We do not follow maps to buried
treasure, and X never, ever, marks the spot.
        [ Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

b - a BarbarianThey dressed alike -- in buckskin boots, leathern breeks and
deerskin shirts, with broad girdles that held axes and short
swords; and they were all gaunt and scarred and hard-eyed;
sinewy and taciturn.
They were wild men, of a sort, yet there was still a wide
gulf between them and the Cimmerian. They were sons of
civilization, reverted to a semi-barbarism. He was a
barbarian of a thousand generations of barbarians. They had
acquired stealth and craft, but he had been born to these
things. He excelled them even in lithe economy of motion.
They were wolves, but he was a tiger.
        [ Conan - The Warrior, by Robert E. Howard ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

c - a CavemanNow it was light enough to leave. Moon-Watcher picked up
the shriveled corpse and dragged it after him as he bent
under the low overhang of the cave. Once outside, he
threw the body over his shoulder and stood upright - the
only animal in all this world able to do so.
Among his kind, Moon-Watcher was almost a giant. He was
nearly five feet high, and though badly undernourished
weighed over a hundred pounds. His hairy, muscular body
was halfway between ape and man, but his head was already
much nearer to man than ape. The forehead was low, and
there were ridges over the eye sockets, yet he unmistakably
held in his genes the promise of humanity.
        [ 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
,CavewomanNow it was light enough to leave. Moon-Watcher picked up
the shriveled corpse and dragged it after him as he bent
under the low overhang of the cave. Once outside, he
threw the body over his shoulder and stood upright - the
only animal in all this world able to do so.
Among his kind, Moon-Watcher was almost a giant. He was
nearly five feet high, and though badly undernourished
weighed over a hundred pounds. His hairy, muscular body
was halfway between ape and man, but his head was already
much nearer to man than ape. The forehead was low, and
there were ridges over the eye sockets, yet he unmistakably
held in his genes the promise of humanity.
        [ 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

h - a HealerI swear by Apollo the physician, and Aesculapius, and Health,
and All-heal, and all the gods and goddesses, that, according
to my ability and judgment, I will keep this Oath and this
stipulation -- to reckon him who taught me this Art equally dear
to me as my parents, to share my substance with him, and relieve
his necessities if required; to look upon his offspring in the
same footing as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if
they shall wish to learn it, without fee or stipulation; and
that by precept, lecture, and every other mode of instruction,
I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons, and those
of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath
according to the law of medicine, but to none others. I will
follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and
judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain
from whatever is deleterious and mischievous. [...]
        [ Hippocrates' Oath, translated by Francis Adams ]

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our
dogs when well.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

k - a KnightHere lies the noble fearless knight,
Whose valour rose to such a height;
When Death at last had struck him down,
His was the victory and renown.
He reck'd the world of little prize,
And was a bugbear in men's eyes;
But had the fortune in his age
To live a fool and die a sage.
        [ Don Quixote of La Mancha by Miquel de
         Cervantes Saavedra ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

m - a MonkOne day, an army general invited the Buddhist monk I-Hsiu
(literally, "One Rest") to his military head office for a
dinner. I-Hsiu was not accustomed to wearing luxurious
clothings and so he just put on an old ordinary casual
robe to go to the military base. To him, "form is void".

As he approached the base, two soldiers appeared before him
and shouted, "Where does this beggar came from? Identify
yourself! You do not have permission to be around here!"

"My name is I-Hsiu Dharma Master. I am invited by your
general for a supper."

The two soldiers examined the monk closely and said, "You
liar. How come my general invites such a shabby monk to
dinner? He invites the very solemn venerable I-Hsiu to our
base for a great ceremony today, not you. Now, get out!"

I-Hsiu was unable to convince the soldiers that he was
indeed the invited guest, so he returned to the temple
and changed to a very formal solemn ceremonial robe for
the dinner. And as he returned to the military base, the
soldiers observed that he was such a great Buddhist monk,
let him in with honour.

At the dinner, I-Hsiu sat in front of the table full of
food but, instead of putting the food into his month, he
picked up the food with his chopsticks and put it into
his sleeves. The general was curious, and whispered to
him, "This is very embarrassing. Do you want to take
some food back to the temple? I will order the cook to
prepare some take out orders for you." "No" replied the
monk. "When I came here, I was not allowed into the
base by your soldiers until I wear this ceremonial robe.
You do not invite me for a dinner. You invite my robe.
Therefore, my robe is eating the food, not me."
        [ Dining with a General - a Zen Buddhism Koan ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

p - a Priest[...] For the two priests were talking exactly like priests,
piously, with learning and leisure, about the most aerial
enigmas of theology. The little Essex priest spoke the more
simply, with his round face turned to the strengthening stars;
the other talked with his head bowed, as if he were not even
worthy to look at them. But no more innocently clerical
conversation could have been heard in any white Italian cloister
or black Spanish cathedral. The first he heard was the tail of
one of Father Brown's sentences, which ended: "... what they
really meant in the Middle Ages by the heavens being
incorruptible." The taller priest nodded his bowed head and
said: "Ah, yes, these modern infidels appeal to their reason;
but who can look at those millions of worlds and not feel that
there may well be wonderful universes above us where reason is
utterly unreasonable?"
        [ The Innocence of Father Brown, by G.K. Chesterton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
,Priestess
r - a RogueI understand the business, I hear it: to have an open ear, a
quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary for a cut-purse; a
good nose is requisite also, to smell out work for the other
senses. I see this is the time that the unjust man doth
thrive. <...> The prince himself is about a piece of iniquity,
stealing away from his father with his clog at his heels: if
I thought it were a piece of honesty to acquaint the king
withal, I would not do't: I hold it the more knavery to
conceal it; and therein am I constant to my profession.
        [ Autolycus the Rogue, from The Winter's Tale by
                William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

R - a Ranger"Lonely men are we, Rangers of the wild, hunters -- but hunters
ever of the servants of the Enemy; for they are found in many
places, not in Mordor only.
If Gondor, Boromir, has been a stalwart tower, we have played
another part. Many evil things there are that your strong walls
and bright swords do not stay. You know little of the lands
beyond your bounds. Peace and freedom, do you say? The North
would have known them little but for us. Fear would have
destroyed them. But when dark things come from the houseless
hills, or creep from sunless woods, they fly from us. What
roads would any dare to tread, what safety would there be in
quiet lands, or in the homes of simple men at night, if the
Dunedain were asleep, or were all gone into the grave?"
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

s - a SamuraiBy that time, Narahara had already slipped his arm from the
sleeve of his outer robe, drew out his two-and-a-half-foot
Fujiwara Tadahiro sword, and, brandishing it over his head,
began barreling toward the foreigners. In less than a minute,
he had charged upon them and cut one of them through the torso.
The man fled, clutching his bulging guts, finally to fall from
his horse at the foot of a pine tree about a thousand yards
away. Kaeda Takeji finished him off. The other two Englishmen
were severely wounded as they tried to flee. Only the woman
managed to escape virtually unscathed.
        [ The Fox-horse, from Drunk as a Lord, by Ryotaro Shiba ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

t - a TouristThe road from Ankh-Morpork to Chrim is high, white and
winding, a thirty-league stretch of potholes and half-buried
rocks that spirals around mountains and dips into cool green
valleys of citrus trees, crosses liana-webbed gorges on
creaking rope bridges and is generally more picturesque than
useful.
Picturesque. That was a new word to Rincewind the wizard
(BMgc, Unseen University [failed]). It was one of a number
he had picked up since leaving the charred ruins of
Ankh-Morpork. Quaint was another one. Picturesque meant --
he decided after careful observation of the scenery that
inspired Twoflower to use the word -- that the landscape was
horribly precipitous. Quaint, when used to describe the
occasional village through which they passed, meant fever-
ridden and tumbledown.
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld.
Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant "idiot".
        [ The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

v - a ValkyrieThe Valkyries were the thirteen choosers of the slain, the
beautiful warrior-maids of Odin who rode through the air and
over the sea. They watched the progress of the battle and
selected the heroes who were to fall fighting. After they
were dead, the maidens rewarded the heroes by kissing them
and then led their souls to Valhalla, where the warriors
lived happily in an ideal existence, drinking and eating
without restraint and fighting over again the battles in
which they died and in which they had won their deathless
fame.
        [ The Encyclopaedia of Myths and Legends of All
                Nations, by Herbert Robinson and Knox
                Wilson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.

w - a WizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.


Now footnotes' meanings I do know
As eneekmot's comments now glow.
Of thirteen comics I twelve count
With roles of Dudley I can mount.
Eleven times was I confused.
Is r a mole? SpiderEight legged creature capable of spinning webs to trap prey.

"You mean you eat flies?" gasped Wilbur.
"Certainly. Flies, bugs, grasshoppers, choice beetles,
moths, butterflies, tasty cockroaches, gnats, midges, daddy
longlegs, centipedes, mosquitoes, crickets - anything that is
careless enough to get caught in my web. I have to live,
don't I?"
"Why, yes, of course," said Wilbur.
        [ Charlotte's Web, by E.B. White ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
s used?
A RogueI understand the business, I hear it: to have an open ear, a
quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary for a cut-purse; a
good nose is requisite also, to smell out work for the other
senses. I see this is the time that the unjust man doth
thrive. <...> The prince himself is about a piece of iniquity,
stealing away from his father with his clog at his heels: if
I thought it were a piece of honesty to acquaint the king
withal, I would not do't: I hold it the more knavery to
conceal it; and therein am I constant to my profession.
        [ Autolycus the Rogue, from The Winter's Tale by
                William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
does a grid bugThese electronically based creatures are not native to this
universe. They appear to come from a world whose laws of
motion are radically different from ours.

Tron looked to his mate and pilot. "I'm going to check on
the beam connection, Yori. You two can keep a watch out for
grid bugs." Tron paced forward along the slender catwalk
that still seemed awfully insubstantial to Flynn, though he
knew it to be amazingly sturdy. He gazed after Tron, asking
himself what in the world a grid bug was, and hoping that the
beam connection -- to which he'd given no thought whatsoever
until this moment -- was healthy and sound."
[ Tron, novel by Brian Daley, story by Steven Lisberger ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
become;
A SamuraiBy that time, Narahara had already slipped his arm from the
sleeve of his outer robe, drew out his two-and-a-half-foot
Fujiwara Tadahiro sword, and, brandishing it over his head,
began barreling toward the foreigners. In less than a minute,
he had charged upon them and cut one of them through the torso.
The man fled, clutching his bulging guts, finally to fall from
his horse at the foot of a pine tree about a thousand yards
away. Kaeda Takeji finished him off. The other two Englishmen
were severely wounded as they tried to flee. Only the woman
managed to escape virtually unscathed.
        [ The Fox-horse, from Drunk as a Lord, by Ryotaro Shiba ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
less one pet sum.
Sorry about the commas there
But slashes italics now bare.
Norgg April 22, 2005 19:01
First comment: 16 April, 2005 5 comments written
All things have thier own special place
and while godawful poetry may have some grace:
when every post uses those rhyming couplets
harking back to times of swords and doublets.
Then there's something wrong with your head
and those amongst us humans who would wish you dead.
Eemeli April 22, 2005 20:05
First comment: 2 March, 2005 143 comments written
Oh my godGoddesses and Gods operate in ones, threesomes, or whole
pantheons of nine or more (see Religion). Most of them claim
to have made the world, and this is indeed a likely claim in
the case of threesomes or pantheons: Fantasyland does have
the air of having been made by a committee. But all Goddesses
and Gods, whether they say they made the world or not, have
very detailed short-term plans for it which they are determined
to carry out. Consequently they tend to push people into the
required actions by the use of coincidence or Prophecy, or just
by narrowing down your available choices of what to do next:
if a deity is pushing you, things will go miserably badly until
there is only one choice left to you.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, you are good Kernig and Norgg. : ) Native Englishmen?

"A random role I often pick"
At first you sounded like Yoda. :D
Kernigh April 22, 2005 23:07
First comment: 6 April, 2005 349 comments written
Syllables one would count. Of rhyming words one would think. Hit is Kernigh by the mind flayerThis creature has a humanoid body, tentacles around its
covered mouth, and three long fingers on each hand. Mind
flayers are telepathic, and love to devour intelligent beings,
especially humans. If they hit their victim with a tentacle,
the mind flayer will slowly drain it of all intelligence,
eventually killing its victim.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. Kernigh dies.
Plague April 23, 2005 01:10
First comment: 31 January, 2005 102 comments written
Hark you mortals to the rog'angelHe answered and said unto them, he that soweth the good seed
is the Son of man; the field is the world, and the good seed
are the children of the kingdom; but the weeds are the
children of the wicked one; the enemy that sowed them is the
devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers
are the angels. As therefore the weeds are gathered and
burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.
[...] So shall it be at the end of the world; the angels
shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just,
and shall cast them into the furnace of fire; there shall be
wailing and gnashing of teeth.
        [ The Gospel According to Matthew, 13:37-42, 49-50 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Plague,
who just came back from the massacre at Hague,
stop thine foolish extra lines
and build up real-weld backbone-spines.
Norgg April 24, 2005 04:29
First comment: 16 April, 2005 5 comments written
Shameless geekyness.
Exam stress driven rantings.
This is not Haiku.
tracer June 23, 2005 00:57
First comment: 22 June, 2005 32 comments written
That's supposed to be Martha Stewart?

My first guess was that it was the kid from Twilight Zone who wished his enemies into the cornfield. "But it's GOOD that you turned him into a Jack-in-the-box! Real good!"
Fathead May 31, 2006 22:00
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Good grief.
Donut Lord December 10, 2006 15:13
First comment: 1 December, 2006 26 comments written
ridiculous
Grognor April 12, 2007 06:08
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
I enjoy NetHack.
It has killed my G-P-A.
Uphold laziness.

HAIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
seppuku

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