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Dudley's dungeon -- Tuesday, 26 October, 2004

Dudley's dungeon

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Tuesday, 26 October, 2004 by Christopher Allan Webber
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 |.F......|         
 |.....b..-         
 |....a.d.|         
 |.....d@$|         
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@ "I'm depressed... Sometimes it feels like this whole world is against me."
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 |..F.....|         
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 |.....%..|         
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@ "But that's silly. With all the other beings in existence..."
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 |...F....|         
 |........-#####@#  
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@ "... there should be no reason I'd be particularly disliked with the powers that be."
    ------------    
   /  REST IN   \   
  /    PEACE     \  
 /                \ 
 |   Hey look!    | 
 | Dudley's dead! | 
 |   HA HA HA!    | 
 |    *  *  *     | 
 /\\_/(\/(/\)\//\/| 


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Rating

01036
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 10

Comments

Violist October 26, 2004 01:03
First comment: 25 June, 2004 206 comments written
That should be implemented in the next version. A YASD that's dumb enough gets a mocking message from MolochAnd the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,
Again, thou shalt say to the children of Israel, Whosoever
he be of the children of Israel, or of the strangers that
sojourn in Israel, that giveth any of his seed unto Molech;
he shall surely be put to death: the people of the land shall
stone him with stones.
And I will set my face against that man, and will cut him off
from among his people; because he hath given of his seed unto
Molech, to defile my sanctuary, and to profane my holy name.
And if the people of the land do any ways hide their eyes
from the man, when he giveth of his seed unto Molech, and kill
him not:
Then I will set my face against that man, and against his
family, and will cut him off, and all that go a whoring after
him, to commit whoredom with Molech, from among their people.
        [ Leviticus 20:1-5 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
..
Christopher October 26, 2004 02:52
First comment: 10 May, 2004 30 comments written
Heh, that must be the funniest one I've seen for a while. Christopher Webber thou shalt write more comics! :-)
Zeddi October 26, 2004 08:27
First comment: 5 June, 2004 80 comments written
roflmao... nothing more to say. simple, but very funny one =)
Zeddi October 26, 2004 17:24
First comment: 5 June, 2004 80 comments written
Omg, YASD a few minutes ago... do you remember this housecat-comic last week? :( I do.
Dav October 26, 2004 19:07
First comment: 26 June, 2004 147 comments written
Here lies Zeddi, killed by a housecat while helpless.
Christopher_Webber October 27, 2004 07:58
First comment: 27 October, 2004 1 comments written
In response to "Christopher Webber, thou shalt write more comics!", I've written, and drawn, quite a few. Most of them aren't Nethack related, though.
Go to http://dustycloud.org or http://lingocomic.com ...they're the same place really. Oh yeah, I also have a collaboration I did with RMS I recently finished.
http://www.lingocomic.com/gfx/goodies/tradetreaty-olde.jpg
Hm.... this comment might have been a bit too self-advertising ;)
Fathead April 12, 2006 18:09
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
Dude_don't_put_so_many_underscores_in_your_writing!

Yack! Those gravediggers are cruel.
Grognor April 7, 2007 04:47
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Rofl. seriously.

Rust monsterThese strange creatures live on a diet of metals. They can
turn a suit of armour into so much useless rusted scrap in no
time at all.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, goblinNow goblins are cruel, wicked, and bad-hearted. They make
no beautiful things, but they make many clever ones. They
can tunnel and mine as well as any but the most skilled
dwarves, when they take the trouble, though they are usually
untidy and dirty. Hammers, axes, swords, daggers, pickaxes,
tongs, and also instruments of torture, they make very well,
or get other people to make to their design, prisoners and
slaves that have to work till they die for want of air and
light.
[ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, catWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of
predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick,
soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the
cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt.

So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people
awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his
accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped,
yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did
the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content.
        [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, leprechaunThe Irish Leprechaun is the Faeries' shoemaker and is known
under various names in different parts of Ireland:
Cluricaune in Cork, Lurican in Kerry, Lurikeen in Kildare
and Lurigadaun in Tipperary. Although he works for the
Faeries, the Leprechaun is not of the same species. He is
small, has dark skin and wears strange clothes. His nature
has something of the manic-depressive about it: first he
is quite happy, whistling merrily as he nails a sole on to a
shoe; a few minutes later, he is sullen and morose, drunk
on his home-made heather ale. The Leprechaun's two great
loves are tobacco and whiskey, and he is a first-rate con-man,
impossible to out-fox. No one, no matter how clever, has ever
managed to cheat him out of his hidden pot of gold or his
magic shilling. At the last minute he always thinks of some
way to divert his captor's attention and vanishes in the
twinkling of an eye.
        [ A Field Guide to the Little People
                 by Nancy Arrowsmith & George Moorse ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
Grognor April 25, 2007 04:22
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
The only YASD you're actually made fun of by the RNG for is eating a rider[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.

RIP
Dudley
Unwisely ate the corpse of pestilence[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
HK June 6, 2007 05:29
First comment: 1 June, 2007 309 comments written
My highest-scoring character was killed by a housecat, while helpless. BEWARE OF THE FELINES! (Unless you have a pet of that sort.)
TK August 12, 2007 16:43
First comment: 11 August, 2007 69 comments written
I was killed by my own pet kittenWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of
predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick,
soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the
cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt.

So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people
awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his
accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped,
yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did
the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content.
        [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
once...that was one of the first times I played.
Playing a wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
...ran out of power...already pretty hurt...blinded somehow...hit kittenWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of
predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick,
soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the
cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt.

So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people
awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his
accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped,
yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did
the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content.
        [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
...kittenWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of
predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick,
soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the
cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt.

So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people
awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his
accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped,
yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did
the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content.
        [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
got mad...kittenWell-known quadruped domestic animal from the family of
predatory felines (_Felis ochreata domestica_), with a thick,
soft pelt; often kept as a pet. Various folklores have the
cat associated with magic and the gods of ancient Egypt.

So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people
awakened at dawn - behold! Every cat was back at his
accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped,
yellow and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did
the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content.
        [ The Cats of Ulthar, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
wupped my @$$
Grognor September 12, 2007 22:25
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
TK, pets don't go hostile unless you leave them alone or some rare case with intelligents. Sounds like you wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
blinded by a magic trap that summoned several monsters. If you got "It shrieks!" then you probably hit a shriekerWith a single, savage thrust of her spear, the warrior-woman
impaled the fungus, silencing it. However, it was too late:
the alarm had been raised[...]
Suddenly, a large, dark shape rose from the abyss before them,
its fetid bulk looming overhead...The monster was some kind of
great dark worm, but that was about all they were sure of.
        [ The Adventurers, Epic IV, by Thomas A. Miller ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and the other summoned monsters kicked your ass. Possibly a monster summoned by the shriekerWith a single, savage thrust of her spear, the warrior-woman
impaled the fungus, silencing it. However, it was too late:
the alarm had been raised[...]
Suddenly, a large, dark shape rose from the abyss before them,
its fetid bulk looming overhead...The monster was some kind of
great dark worm, but that was about all they were sure of.
        [ The Adventurers, Epic IV, by Thomas A. Miller ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
Kerta December 12, 2007 16:07
First comment: 12 December, 2007 72 comments written
I think you should get special messages for death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
while hallucinating. Like "Killed rather spectacularly by the studio audience for phoning a friend"
Melnor the Mad February 24, 2008 21:56
First comment: 19 February, 2008 23 comments written
One of the funniest I've seen. I've often wondered about having a NetHack-related tombstone. Just go the cemetery and see "John Doe Killed by a rabid dogA domestic animal, the _tame dog_ (_Canis familiaris_), of
which numerous breeds exist. The male is called a dog,
while the female is called a bitch. Because of its known
loyalty to man and gentleness with children, it is the
world's most popular domestic animal. It can easily be
trained to perform various tasks.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, while drunk"

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