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Tuesday, 12 August, 2008 by argan
    -------------   
####-`.........`|   
    |.....`.....|   
    |...--d--...|   
    |...|.@.|...|   
    |..`|{@{|`..|   
    |...|.{.|...|   
    |...-----...|   
    |.....`.....|   
    -------------   
####-`.........`|   
    |.....`.....|   
    |...--d--...|   
    |...|.@.|...|   
    |..`|{@{|`..|   
    |...|.{.|...|   
    |...-----...|   
    |.....`.....|   
@ "What if Nethack had not been #defined and coded() in C?"
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####-`.........`|   
    |.....`.....|   
    |...--d--...|   
    |...|.@.|...|   
    |..`|{@{|`..|   
    |...|.{.|...|   
    |...-----...|   
    |.....`.....|   
@ "You didn't grovel enough! Go see for yourself! *ZOT*"
       *JAVA*       
Cast a - force bolt 
  |..@.....B...|    
  |............|    
  |.............### 
  |............|  # 
  |---|---------    
      #             
      #             
Loa
      **JAVA**      
  |............d####
  |..@.........|    
  |..B.........|    
  |.............### 
  |............|  # 
  |---|---------    
      #             
      #             
Loading s
     ***JAVA***     
  |............d####
  |.. .........|    
  |..B.........|    
  |.............### 
  |............|  # 
  |---|---------    
      #             
      #             
Loading spells.class ...
    ***BASIC***     
  --------------    
  |.^^^^.^..^..^####
  |.^@d^..^.^.^|    
  |...^^.^^^.^.|    
  |^.^.^.^^.^...### 
  |.^..^^.^..^.|  # 
  |---|---------    
      #             
^ - a level teleporter. ^ - a teleport trap. ^ - a level teleporter...
    ***LISP***      
  --------------    
  |({{(({(({({({####
  |(((({{((({{{|    
  |((((..d.))))|    
  |}}})));}))))}### 
  |)})}))@))};)|  # 
  |---|---------    
      #             
   ^\%INTERCAL#>?   
  --------------    
  |.............####
  |..@...d.....|    
  |..:.........|    
  |.............### 
  |............|  # 
  |---|---------    
      #             
The two-spot bites! The two-spot bites! You die...
You hear a loud voice saying "No more woodchucks!"
(http://www.cs.indiana.edu/~oracle/)


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

2101011
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 24

Comments

Wellan August 12, 2008 00:13
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
Not everyone'll get the oracleDelphi under towering Parnassus, where Apollo's oracle was,
plays an important part in mythology. Castalia was its
sacred spring; Cephissus its river. It was held to be the
center of the world, so many pilgrims came to it, from
foreign countries as well as Greece. No other shrine rivaled
it. The answers to the questions asked by the anxious
seekers for Truth were delivered by a priestess who went into
a trance before she spoke.
        [ Mythology, by Edith Hamilton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
reference, so it was taken a bit too far. The takes on the programming languages are funny, though. E.
Slowpoke August 12, 2008 00:31
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
I wouldn't want to see either geek meme (TIO, or programmer humor) taken too far in teh Dudleyverse, but one is OK, and the combination worked out fine.
idontexist August 12, 2008 01:11
First comment: 19 July, 2008 35 comments written
Thats pretty funny. Too bad i only know basic.
Soluphobe August 12, 2008 01:43
First comment: 21 July, 2008 6 comments written
I'd love to give this E, but it got a G. The lack of Malbolge stands out. (Nice use of Intercal, though!)

http://www.esolangs.org/wiki/Malbolge
motty August 12, 2008 02:21
First comment: 22 November, 2006 9 comments written
Too short. Still excellent though.
Toby Bartels August 12, 2008 05:53
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
Nethack is no stranger to the Internet OracleDelphi under towering Parnassus, where Apollo's oracle was,
plays an important part in mythology. Castalia was its
sacred spring; Cephissus its river. It was held to be the
center of the world, so many pilgrims came to it, from
foreign countries as well as Greece. No other shrine rivaled
it. The answers to the questions asked by the anxious
seekers for Truth were delivered by a priestess who went into
a trance before she spoke.
        [ Mythology, by Edith Hamilton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
: see http://www.geocities.com/dcorbett42/OracleDelphi under towering Parnassus, where Apollo's oracle was,
plays an important part in mythology. Castalia was its
sacred spring; Cephissus its river. It was held to be the
center of the world, so many pilgrims came to it, from
foreign countries as well as Greece. No other shrine rivaled
it. The answers to the questions asked by the anxious
seekers for Truth were delivered by a priestess who went into
a trance before she spoke.
        [ Mythology, by Edith Hamilton ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
/nhoracle.htm (if this doesn't break Dion's comment script).
  August 12, 2008 07:19
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Excellent!
Dion August 12, 2008 09:23
First comment: 2 February, 2004 100 comments written
>(if this doesn't break Dion's comment script).
It does. I have to look into this.
Dion August 12, 2008 10:30
First comment: 2 February, 2004 100 comments written
Better now (though still not perfect.)
Nesman August 12, 2008 14:33
First comment: 4 January, 2005 112 comments written
Below, I submit my entry in Whitespace: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitespace_(programming_language)





gneek August 12, 2008 18:06
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
***LOLCODE***
Teh kitteh catches teh triep rashion.
Qwernt August 12, 2008 18:28
First comment: 6 August, 2008 4 comments written
The list panel is especially entertaining.
Quint Sakugarne August 12, 2008 19:29
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
Good, though not Excellent, since I don't get anything but the Java joke.

And whoa...Dion is here! Since you're here, could you fix the link in the subtext?

Also, Nesman: that's a lot of ghosts.
CKY August 13, 2008 09:48
First comment: 3 July, 2008 4 comments written
LMAO'd at INTERCAL.
@ August 13, 2008 15:15
First comment: 26 July, 2004 155 comments written
The Java one is just supposed to mean Java is slow, right?

I get the BASIC one- BASIC programmers are notorious for using GOTO statements instead of while loops or similar. For this reason BASIC is sometimes called a 'spaghetti language'. I personally don't get why this is so because a BASIC programmer could always just write normally- and BASIC is quite easy to use.

I'm surprised that INTERCAL only renamed monsters- I would have expected a language like that to screw with the tileset. That would probably be Malbolge, though.
Antheridium August 14, 2008 07:14
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
Because GOTOS are cool, obviously.
Looney August 14, 2008 21:04
First comment: 26 January, 2008 29 comments written
Also, if you're using an old-fashioned BASIC interpreter rather than QB or VB, then all your code is necessarily tagged with line numbers, making GOTO statements more natural than in other languages.
rpresser August 15, 2008 01:28
First comment: 6 October, 2005 51 comments written
Learn some history, folks. BASIC is older than structured programming. IF-THEN, GOTO and GOSUB are direct equivalents to the only way to transfer control in assembly language: conditional jumps, unconditional jumps and JSRs. Line numbers are direct equivalents to memory addresses, which is how you tell assembly language where to jump.

Many, many BASIC textbooks wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
written before the advent of structured programming. These textbooks all told how to write code with lots of GOTOs. These textbooks did not disappear when Nickles' Worth, pardon me, Niklaus Wirth invented PASCAL, and so another generation of BASIC programmers learned badly.
  August 18, 2008 15:43
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
> I'm surprised that INTERCAL only renamed monsters- I would
> have expected a language like that to screw with the
> tileset. That would probably be Malbolge, though.

Malboge would encrypt the tileset each turn.
MadDawg2552 October 10, 2008 18:54
First comment: 6 October, 2008 69 comments written
I learned programming with BASIC and Visual BASIC and I never used a single GOTO statement until I tried COBOL.

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