Dudley's dungeon

Home Comments Archive Print


Tuesday, 4 December, 2007 by Kernigh
  ------------...|  
  |....@.....|...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@..@..@.+...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@@@@@@@.|...+  
  -----------|...|  
@ "Class, today we will practice the spell serpensortia. Wands out!"
  ------------...|  
  |....@.....|...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@..@..@.+...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@@@@@@.@|...+  
  -----------|...|  
@ "Oops..."
  ------------...|  
  |....@.....|...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@..@..@.+...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@@@@@@.@|...+  
  -----------|...|  
@ "Dudley Potter, it was not your turn to speak!"
q - a potionPOTABLE, n.  Suitable for drinking.  Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of polyjuice E - a potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of confusion S - a potionPOTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of amnesiaGet thee hence, nor come again,
Mix not memory with doubt,
Pass, thou deathlike type of pain,
Pass and cease to move about!
'Tis the blot upon the brain
That will show itself without.
        ...
For, Maud, so tender and true,
As long as my life endures
I feel I shall owe you a debt,
That I never can hope to pay;
And if ever I should forget
That I owe this debt to you
And for your sweet sake to yours;
O then, what then shall I say? -
If ever I should forget,
May God make me more wretched
Than ever I have been yet!
        [ Maud, And Other Poems by Alfred, Lord Tennyson ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Wands a - a wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
lumos --More--
i
d - a wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
accio e - a wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
wingardium leviosa f - a wand of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
alohomora called opening Z - an uncursed wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of avada kedavra
  ------------...|  
  |....@.....|...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@S..@..@.+...|  
  |..@.......|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@@@@@@.@|...+  
  -----------|...|  
  ------------...|  
  |....@.....|...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@..@..@.+...|  
  |....S.....|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@@@@@@.@|...+  
  -----------|...|  
  ------------...|  
  |....@.....|...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@..@..@.+...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.(((((((S.|...|  
  |.@@@@@@@.@|...+  
  -----------|...|  
A snakeNow the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field
which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea,
hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of
the trees of the garden: but of the fruit of the tree which is
in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of
it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent
said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: for God doth
know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be
opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And
when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one
wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou
hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I
did eat. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou
hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above
every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and
dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put
enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her
seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
        [ Genesis 3:1-6,13-15 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
was hidden under a desk! The snakeNow the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field
which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea,
hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of
the trees of the garden: but of the fruit of the tree which is
in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of
it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent
said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: for God doth
know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be
opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And
when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one
wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou
hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I
did eat. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou
hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above
every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and
dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put
enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her
seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
        [ Genesis 3:1-6,13-15 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
bites!
  ------------...|  
  |....@.....|...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.((((((((.|...|  
  |.@@..@..@.+...|  
  |..........|...|  
  |.(((((((S.|...|  
  |.@@@@@@@.@|...+  
  -----------|...|  
@ "I cannot summon snakes, but I have to kill them."
Students, pack your wands in a bag.


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
Powered by Nics
<< Previous<< First Random  Today >> Next >>

Rating

44320
Average rating: Mediocre
Number of ratings: 13

Comments

Rose December 4, 2007 00:53
First comment: 3 July, 2006 79 comments written
G for the inventory list :)

The rest kind of wandered though
G December 4, 2007 01:39
First comment: 5 October, 2005 82 comments written
Eh, I much prefer new ideas to fanfiction
Antheridium December 4, 2007 02:45
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
I evidently don't get it...
Eskimo December 4, 2007 08:25
First comment: 14 April, 2004 166 comments written
A wikipedia link... that's new. Nice. Other than that... well, uh, yeah. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Grey Knight December 4, 2007 08:41
First comment: 20 October, 2005 116 comments written
What Wikipedia link? I see a Wikia one, that's it.

These at least make more sense than the last batch of Harry Pothead strips, but I think you still need to be a fan -- or "interested party" at least -- to find them funny.
LoATS December 4, 2007 23:11
First comment: 4 December, 2007 3 comments written
Dudley Potter and the Deathly Newts: Dudley fights his nemesis, The Gnome... And then a gnome came by, carrying a bundle, an old
fellow three times as large as an imp and wearing clothes of
a sort, especially a hat. And he was clearly just as frightened
as the imps though he could not go so fast. Ramon Alonzo
saw that there must be some great trouble that was vexing
magical things; and, since gnomes speak the language of men, and
will answer if spoken to gently, he raised his hat, and asked
of the gnome his name. The gnome did not stop his hasty
shuffle a moment as he answered 'Alaraba' and grabbed the rim
of his hat but forgot to doff it.
'What is the trouble, Alaraba?' said Ramon Alonzo.
'White magic. Run!' said the gnome ..
        [ The Charwoman's Shadow, by Lord Dunsany ]

"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as
they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron,
bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little
Santa Clauses with fishing rods..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered,
and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"Geroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Santa Claus. It was small and
leathery looking, with a large, knobby, bald head exactly like
a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him
with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles
and turned it upside down.
[ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
With The Wand Of'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
Avada Kedavra
Antheridium December 5, 2007 00:14
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
Good one, LoATS.
Fathead December 5, 2007 16:08
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
That last comment was classic, and merits at least an eff.
Grognor December 6, 2007 22:56
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
AWFUL. AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@nicolaas.net!
Powered by Nics
<< Previous<< First Random  Today >> Next >>