Dudley's dungeon

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Tuesday, 15 July, 2008 by @
You unleash a waterDay after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere
Nor any drop to drink.
        [ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor
         Coleridge ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
demonIt is often very hard to discover what any given Demon looks
like, apart from a general impression of large size, huge
fangs, staring eyes, many limbs, and an odd color; but all
accounts agree that Demons are very powerful, very Magic (in
a nonhuman manner), and made of some substance that can squeeze
through a keyhole yet not be pierced with a Sword. This makes
them difficult to deal with, even on the rare occasions when
they are friendly.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! --More-- ######## # ---+--- |.....| |..@..| ######-.....| -------
@ "Uh-oh..."
Grateful for his    
release, he grants  
you a wish!         
         #          
      ---+---       
      |..&..|       
      |..@..|       
######-.....|       
      -------       
@ "Yesss... now I get a SDSM on Dlvl 1!"
a - a greased +2    
silver dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man.  Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
scale mail (being worn). # ---+--- |.....| |..@..| ######-.....| -------
@ "Good, it kept my +2! Maybe the RNG has declared a truce or something..."
162 turns later...  
 ----------         
#..?..%...|         
 |.(.@....|         
 |...).....#####    
 ---+------    #    
               ### -
                 # |
                 ##.
@ "That jackalIn Asiatic folktale, jackal provides for the lion; he scares
up game, which the lion kills and eats, and receives what is
left as reward. In stories from northern India he is
sometimes termed "minister to the king," i.e. to the lion.
From the legend that he does not kill his own food has arisen
the legend of his cowardice. Jackal's heart must never be
eaten, for instance, in the belief of peoples indigenous to
the regions where the jackal abounds. ... In Hausa Negro
folktale Jackal plays the role of sagacious judge and is
called "O Learned One of the Forest." The Bushmen say that
Jackal goes around behaving the way he does "because he is
Jackal".
        [ Funk & Wagnalls Standard Dictionary of Folklore ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
dropped a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. I wonder what I'll get..."
v - a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
labeled PRIRUTSENIE. What do you want to read? [v or ?*] v #..@..%...| |.(......| |...).....##### ---+------ # ### -
@ "It can't hurt this one time, the way my luck is going..."
Your armor turns to 
dust and falls to   
the ground!         
 ----------         
#..@..%...|         
 |.(......|         
 |...).....#####    
 ---+------    #    
               ### -
@ "..."
RIP Dudley, killed by banging his head against a wall.


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Rating

13793
Average rating: Fair
Number of ratings: 23

Comments

Slowpoke July 15, 2008 00:36
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
You can always put absolute faith in the RNG. (To behave as designed.)
Quint Sakugarne July 15, 2008 01:42
First comment: 1 January, 2008 233 comments written
I like this one. :D

Also, the after-text is awesome.

As is Slowpoke's comment.
Wellan July 15, 2008 01:50
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
I saw that coming a mile away. Nevertheless, F.
Wellan July 15, 2008 01:51
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
OK, bumped up to G for the footnote. I didn't notice that the first time around.
@ July 15, 2008 01:54
First comment: 26 July, 2004 155 comments written
Believe it or not, this has actually happened to me five times. Three times I destroyed some DSM I wished for, once a mithril_Mithril_! All folk desired it. It could be beaten like
copper, and polished like glass; and the Dwarves could make
of it a metal, light and yet harder than tempered steel.
Its beauty was like to that of common silver, but the beauty
of _mithril_ did not tarnish or grow dim.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-coat I found, and once I over-enchanted my first sacrifice gift. d'oh!
Mantar July 15, 2008 03:42
First comment: 17 June, 2004 197 comments written
Bad strategy is bad.
@ July 15, 2008 04:07
First comment: 26 July, 2004 155 comments written
I'm learning that the hard way. :p
gneek July 15, 2008 06:20
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
Predictable and... *yawn*
Antheridium July 15, 2008 07:10
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
There is no such thing as luck. :P
Jackal Lantern July 15, 2008 07:36
First comment: 24 June, 2008 24 comments written
Definitely, and there's nothing like a large number of passes through an RNG to drive that message home
Halo Hawkes July 15, 2008 10:32
First comment: 15 July, 2008 1 comments written
Good from me. Though predictable as soon as it said "v - a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
labeled PRIRUTSENIE".

I never read scrolls, nor quaff potions, nor zap wands, that I don't know what they are. Unless I'm seriously in danger of dying and it doesn't matter anyway.

Of course, I've never ascended, so don't follow my advice ;).
TJR July 15, 2008 12:47
First comment: 8 February, 2008 26 comments written
Me neither - and I end up using a small subset of all game features by habitude.
Of course, once I have every intrinsic, spell, perfect equipment and did the Valley of the Dead, the rest of the game is quite boring, so I usually quitMaltar: [...] I remembered a little saying I learned my first
day at the academy.
Natalie: Yeah, yeah, I know. Winners never quit and quitters
never win.
Maltar: What? No! Winners never quit and quitters should be
cast into the flaming pit of death.
        [ Snow Day, directed by Chris Koch,
         written by Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
Ant July 15, 2008 13:29
First comment: 23 February, 2005 2 comments written
You think that's bad? I got SDSM from a lampWhen he came to himself he told his mother what had passed,
and showed her the lamp and the fruits he had gathered in the
garden, which were in reality precious stones. He then asked
for some food.

"Alas! child," she said, "I have nothing in the house, but I
have spun a little cotton and will go and sell it."

Aladdin bade her keep her cotton, for he would sell the lamp
instead. As it was very dirty she began to rub it, that it
might fetch a higher price. Instantly a hideous genie
appeared, and asked what she would have. She fainted away,
but Aladdin, snatching the lamp, said boldly:
"Fetch me something to eat!"
        [ Aladdin, from The Arabian Nights, by Andrew Lang ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and trod on a polymorph trap which turned me into a dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. I went down a level as a dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, took one step off the upstair and trod on ANOTHER polymorph trap that turned me into a long worm[The crysknife] is manufactured in two forms from teeth taken
from dead sandworms. The two forms are "fixed" and "unfixed".
An unfixed knife requires proximity to a human body's
electrical field to prevent disintegration. Fixed knives
are treated for storage. All are about 20 centimeters long.
        [ Dune, by Frank Herbert ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. The SDSM, despite being large enough to stretch to dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-size got torn to pieces when I turned into another monster the same siz as the dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. Meh.
T-Jack July 15, 2008 13:48
First comment: 16 March, 2008 52 comments written
Meh. I only got few times to MedusaMedusa, one of the three Gorgons or Graeae, is the only one
of her sisters to have assumed mortal form and inhabited the
dungeon world.

When Perseus was grown up Polydectes sent him to attempt the
conquest of Medusa, a terrible monster who had laid waste the
country. She was once a beautiful maiden whose hair was her
chief glory, but as she dared to vie in beauty with Minerva,
the goddess deprived her of her charms and changed her
beautiful ringlets into hissing serpents. She became a cruel
monster of so frightful an aspect that no living thing could
behold her without being turned into stone. All around the
cavern where she dwelt might be seen the stony figures of men
and animals which had chanced to catch a glimpse of her and
had been petrified with the sight. Perseus, favoured by
Minerva and Mercury, the former of whom lent him her shield
and the latter his winged shoes, approached Medusa while she
slept and taking care not to look directly at her, but guided
by her image reflected in the bright shield which he bore, he
cut off her head and gave it to Minerva, who fixed it in the
middle of her Aegis.
        [ Bulfinch's Mythology, by Thomas Bulfinch ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and never to Gehennom (once to the Castle, if I remember correctly). Often getting killed over a tiny stupid mistake...

Well anyway, M for strip, E+ for footnote, G in total
Toby Bartels July 15, 2008 17:18
First comment: 11 August, 2007 83 comments written
Easy come, easy go, Dudley. The net result is that you've identified a scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
zem July 15, 2008 18:18
First comment: 5 December, 2005 64 comments written
comic was okay, but the footnote deserves an E
jj July 15, 2008 19:01
First comment: 15 July, 2008 1 comments written
Would have been E if the footnote had been the last panel as a headstone - don't have to tell us what we knew was coming.
Lurker Above July 15, 2008 20:15
First comment: 2 May, 2008 2 comments written
I got my first SDSM by luring monsters on a poly trap. One became a silver dragonIn the West the dragon was the natural enemy of man. Although
preferring to live in bleak and desolate regions, whenever it
was seen among men it left in its wake a trail of destruction
and disease. Yet any attempt to slay this beast was a perilous
undertaking. For the dragon's assailant had to contend
not only with clouds of sulphurous fumes pouring from its fire
breathing nostrils, but also with the thrashings of its tail,
the most deadly part of its serpent-like body.
[ Mythical Beasts by Deirdre Headon (The Leprechaun Library) ]

"One whom the dragons will speak with," he said, "that is a
dragonlord, or at least that is the center of the matter. It's
not a trick of mastering the dragons, as most people think.
Dragons have no masters. The question is always the same, with
a dragon: will he talk to you or will he eat you? If you can
count upon his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why
then you're a dragonlord."
        [ The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
and left scales. I had lots of ?oEA left and stupidly overenchanted it.

This was the only time I killed the Nethack process on purpose to restore from the last save file.
Zienth July 15, 2008 21:11
First comment: 8 May, 2007 9 comments written
Rather predictable comic showing stupid behavior. Never read an unidentified scrollAnd I was gazing on the surges prone,
With many a scalding tear and many a groan,
When at my feet emerg'd an old man's hand,
Grasping this scroll, and this same slender wand.
I knelt with pain--reached out my hand--had grasp'd
Those treasures--touch'd the knuckles--they unclasp'd--
I caught a finger: but the downward weight
O'erpowered me--it sank. Then 'gan abate
The storm, and through chill aguish gloom outburst
The comfortable sun. I was athirst
To search the book, and in the warming air
Parted its dripping leaves with eager care.
Strange matters did it treat of, and drew on
My soul page after page, till well-nigh won
Into forgetfulness; when, stupefied,
I read these words, and read again, and tried
My eyes against the heavens, and read again.
        [ Endymion, by John Keats ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
unless you've narrowed it down to just a few possibilities and have taken appropriate precautions (like taking off valuable armor if it could possibly be Destroy Armor!). The footnote is the only reason it gets a G. But I agree with jj, there should have been a headstone panel.
MadDawg2552 October 10, 2008 18:07
First comment: 6 October, 2008 69 comments written
I always find the exact opposite happening to me. I read random scrolls hoping for a destroy armor or remove curseCurses are longstanding ill-wishings which, in Fantasyland,
often manifest as semisentient. They have to be broken or
dispelled. The method varies according to the type and
origin of the Curse:
[...]
4. Curses on Rings and Swords. You have problems. Rings
have to be returned whence they came, preferably at over a
thousand degrees Fahrenheit, and the Curse means you won't
want to do this. Swords usually resist all attempts to
raise their Curses. Your best source is to hide the Sword
or give it to someone you dislike.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
so I can get rid of that cursed orcOrcs, bipeds with a humanoid appearance, are related to the
goblins, but much bigger and more dangerous. The average orc
is only moderately intelligent, has broad, muscled shoulders,
a short neck, a sloping forehead and a thick, dark fur.
Their lower eye-teeth are pointing forward, like a boar's.
Female orcs are more lightly built and bare-chested. Not
needing any clothing, they do like to dress in variegated
apparels. Suspicious by nature, orcs live in tribes or
hordes. They tend to live underground as well as above
ground (but they dislike sunlight). Orcs can use all weapons,
tools and armours that are used by men. Since they don't have
the talent to fashion these themselves, they are constantly
hunting for them. There is nothing a horde of orcs cannot
use.
        [ het Boek van de Regels; Het Oog des Meesters ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
helmet I put on to avoid my brains being bashed out by falling rocks.

http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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