Dudley's dungeon

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Friday, 18 January, 2008 by Richante
Cromwell casts Cone 
of Cold!            
^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|..
-.--|..|.}}---}}.|--
....|..|.}--.--}.|..
..>.|..|.}|...|}.|..
-------|.}--.--}.G@.
.......|.}}---}}.|o.
..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
G "Prepare yourself, Rodney!"
Cromwell zaps a wand'Saruman!' he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority.
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am
Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no
colour now, and I cast you from the order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice.
'Saruman, your staff is broken.' There was a crack, and the
staff split asunder in Saruman's hand, and the head of it
fell down at Gandalf's feet. 'Go!' said Gandalf. With a cry
Saruman fell back and crawled away.
        [ The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
of digging. ^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|.. -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--.--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|...|G@|.. -------|.}--.--.o... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
Oh no! It's using   
the touch of death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! ^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|.. -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|.@G@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
G "It'll take more than a touch of death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
to kill me!"
Oh no! It's using   
a lot of death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! Cromwell dies... -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|.@%@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "Flee, worthless wizards. You are powerless against my perfect stats and superiour items."
Ogden gives you a   
chestDantes rapidly cleared away the earth around the chest.  Soon
the center lock appeared, then the handles at each end, all
delicately wrought in the manner of that period when art made
precious even the basest of metals. He took the chest by the
two handles and tried to lift it, but it was impossible. He
tried to open it; it was locked. He inserted the sharp end
of his pickaxe between the chest and the lid and pushed down
on the handle. The lid creaked, then flew open.
Dantes was seized with a sort of giddy fever. He cocked his
gun and placed it beside him. The he closed his eyes like a
child, opened them and stood dumbfounded.
The chest was divided into three compartments. In the first
were shining gold coins. In the second, unpolished gold
ingots packed in orderly stacks. From the third compartment,
which was half full, Dantes picked up handfuls of diamonds,
pearls and rubies. As they fell through his fingers in a
glittering cascade, they gave forth the sound of hail beating
against the windowpanes.
        [ The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. ^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|.. -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|.@%@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "I"
Apply what?         
j - iron hookBut as for Queequeg -- why, Queequeg sat there among them --
at the head of the table, too, it so chanced; as cool as an
icicle. To be sure I cannot say much for his breeding. His
greatest admirer could not have cordially justified his
bringing his harpoon into breakfast with him, and using it
there without ceremony; reaching over the table with it, to
the imminent jeopardy of many heads, and grappling the
beefsteaks towards him.
        [ Moby Dick, by Herman Melville ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|.. -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|.@%@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "HATE"
You pull in the     
Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! D - Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|..@@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "WIZARDS"
Apply what?         
E - chestDantes rapidly cleared away the earth around the chest.  Soon
the center lock appeared, then the handles at each end, all
delicately wrought in the manner of that period when art made
precious even the basest of metals. He took the chest by the
two handles and tried to lift it, but it was impossible. He
tried to open it; it was locked. He inserted the sharp end
of his pickaxe between the chest and the lid and pushed down
on the handle. The lid creaked, then flew open.
Dantes was seized with a sort of giddy fever. He cocked his
gun and placed it beside him. The he closed his eyes like a
child, opened them and stood dumbfounded.
The chest was divided into three compartments. In the first
were shining gold coins. In the second, unpolished gold
ingots packed in orderly stacks. From the third compartment,
which was half full, Dantes picked up handfuls of diamonds,
pearls and rubies. As they fell through his fingers in a
glittering cascade, they gave forth the sound of hail beating
against the windowpanes.
        [ The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|.. -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|..@@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "LIKE"
Put in what?        
D - Wizard of YendorNo one knows how old this mighty wizard is, or from whence he
came. It is known that, having lived a span far greater than
any normal man's, he grew weary of lesser mortals; and so,
spurning all human company, he forsook the dwellings of men
and went to live in the depths of the Earth. He took with
him a dreadful artifact, the Book of the Dead, which is said
to hold great power indeed. Many have sought to find the
wizard and his treasure, but none have found him and lived to
tell the tale. Woe be to the incautious adventurer who
disturbs this mighty sorcerer!

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|.. -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|..%@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "YOU!"
You cast wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
lock! Klunk! -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--V--..|.. ..>.|..|.}|..%@..|.. -------|.}--d--o.... .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
--------------------
....|..|.........|..
^%..-..|.}}}}}}}.|..
-.--|..|.}}---}..|--
....|..|.}--.--..|..
..>.|..|.}|..%(..|..
-------|.}--.--o@...
.......|.}}---}..|..
..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "Moral of the story: It doesn't matter if you have good items or bad items..."
The green slimeThese giant amoeboid creatures look like nothing more than
puddles of slime, but they both live and move, feeding on
metal or wood as well as the occasional dungeon explorer to
supplement their diet.

But we were not on a station platform. We were on the track ahead
as the nightmare, plastic column of fetid black iridescence oozed
tightly onward through its fifteen-foot sinus, gathering unholy
speed and driving before it a spiral, re-thickening cloud of the
pallid abyss vapor. It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster
than any subway train -- a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic
bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes
forming and unforming as pustules of greenish light all over the
tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic
penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its
kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.
        [ At the Mountains of Madness, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
touches you! You don't feel very well -.--|..|.}}---}..|-- ....|..|.}--.--..|cp ..>.|..|.}|..%(..|L@ -------|.}--.--...o. .......|.}}---}..|.. ..!....|.}}}}}}}.|..
@ "...The RNG can kill you whenever it feels like it."
Thank you for reading.


http://dudley.nicolaas.net
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Rating

113124
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 21

Comments

Slowpoke January 18, 2008 01:18
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
The RNG can give you a rating of Poor whenever it feels like it. Thank you for reading.
Wellan January 18, 2008 01:22
First comment: 27 November, 2007 247 comments written
That was rather odd. I did like it, though.

Problem: That's not a green slimeThese giant amoeboid creatures look like nothing more than
puddles of slime, but they both live and move, feeding on
metal or wood as well as the occasional dungeon explorer to
supplement their diet.

But we were not on a station platform. We were on the track ahead
as the nightmare, plastic column of fetid black iridescence oozed
tightly onward through its fifteen-foot sinus, gathering unholy
speed and driving before it a spiral, re-thickening cloud of the
pallid abyss vapor. It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster
than any subway train -- a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic
bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes
forming and unforming as pustules of greenish light all over the
tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic
penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its
kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.
        [ At the Mountains of Madness, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, that's a rockBilbo saw that the moment had come when he must do something.
He could not get up at the brutes and he had nothing to shoot
with; but looking about he saw that in this place there were
many stones lying in what appeared to be a now dry little
watercourse. Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and
it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one
that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise
throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and
even birds, got out of his way as quick as lightning if they
saw him stoop; and even grownup he had still spent a deal of
his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand,
bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and
throwing sort - indeed he could do lots of things, besides
blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I
haven't time to tell you about. There is no time now. While
he was picking up stones, the spider had reached Bombur, and
soon he would have been dead. At that moment Bilbo threw.
The stone struck the spider plunk on the head, and it dropped
senseless off the tree, flop to the ground, with all its legs
curled up.
        [ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
piercerYe Piercer doth look like unto a stalactyte, and hangeth
from the roofs of caves and caverns. Unto the height of a
man, and thicker than a man's thigh do they grow, and in
groups do they hang. If a creature doth pass beneath them,
they will by its heat and noise perceive it, and fall upon
it to kill and devour it, though in any other way they move
but exceeding slow.
        [ the Bestiary of Xygag ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
!
gneek January 18, 2008 02:09
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
The only part that I found funny was the "wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
lock".
Mordae January 18, 2008 03:16
First comment: 11 May, 2007 116 comments written
Earned a "G" for "Oh no! It's (sic) using a lot of death[Pestilence:] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals,
and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four
beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white
horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

[War:] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the
second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon
to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one
another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

[Famine:] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the
third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black
horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his
hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say,
A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

[Death:] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and
behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with
hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[ Revelations of John, 6:1-8 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
!" Reminds me of the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where Dr. Jones has beaten up a bunch of guys, the dude with swords shows up, and Jones just shoots him and walks away.
zem January 18, 2008 04:37
First comment: 5 December, 2005 64 comments written
one rng to rule them all!
Slowpoke January 18, 2008 19:53
First comment: 27 February, 2007 239 comments written
I of course was kidding and have now given the comic the G it deserves.
Grognor January 18, 2008 22:54
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Bumped down to Good for "Cromwell dies..." instead of "Cromwell is killed!" and bumped down to fair for the lack of capital P when there was supposed to be a green slimeThese giant amoeboid creatures look like nothing more than
puddles of slime, but they both live and move, feeding on
metal or wood as well as the occasional dungeon explorer to
supplement their diet.

But we were not on a station platform. We were on the track ahead
as the nightmare, plastic column of fetid black iridescence oozed
tightly onward through its fifteen-foot sinus, gathering unholy
speed and driving before it a spiral, re-thickening cloud of the
pallid abyss vapor. It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster
than any subway train -- a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic
bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes
forming and unforming as pustules of greenish light all over the
tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic
penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its
kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.
        [ At the Mountains of Madness, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.
averin January 19, 2008 01:30
First comment: 19 January, 2008 6 comments written
the "wizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
lock" made me smile.
uldivad9 January 19, 2008 02:04
First comment: 19 January, 2008 1 comments written
What if the P was out of the screen?
Grognor January 19, 2008 02:31
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Simple, it wasn't. We saw that portion of the screen.
Antheridium January 19, 2008 18:14
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
I feel a little sorry for Rodney, getting turned into Shchroedinger's WizardEbenezum walked before me along the closest thing we could
find to a path in these overgrown woods. Every few paces he
would pause, so that I, burdened with a pack stuffed with
arcane and heavy paraphernalia, could catch up with his
wizardly strides. He, as usual, carried nothing, preferring,
as he often said, to keep his hands free for quick conjuring
and his mind free for the thoughts of a mage.
        [ A Dealing with Demons, by Craig Shaw Gardner ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
like that. But it was done in a very funny way and served as a perfect culmination of the story arc. In fact, the whole thing reminded me of a corny movie plot. Richante should go to hollywood, his ideas can't be any worse than the crap they're turning out now...

Newt(kinds of) small animal, like a lizard, which spends most of
its time in the water.
        [ Oxford's Student's Dictionary of Current English ]

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
        [ Macbeth, by William Shakespeare ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
-puddingThese giant amoeboid creatures look like nothing more than
puddles of slime, but they both live and move, feeding on
metal or wood as well as the occasional dungeon explorer to
supplement their diet.

But we were not on a station platform. We were on the track ahead
as the nightmare, plastic column of fetid black iridescence oozed
tightly onward through its fifteen-foot sinus, gathering unholy
speed and driving before it a spiral, re-thickening cloud of the
pallid abyss vapor. It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster
than any subway train -- a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic
bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes
forming and unforming as pustules of greenish light all over the
tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic
penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its
kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.
        [ At the Mountains of Madness, by H.P. Lovecraft ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. (You get an E for effort.)
Maybe Troll? January 20, 2008 05:38
First comment: 20 January, 2008 1 comments written
And it's comments like this that caused the rash of Grognor impersonations.
Grognor's Ghost January 20, 2008 12:12
First comment: 20 January, 2008 6 comments written
Who's to say THAT wasn't an impostor?
Grognor January 21, 2008 10:04
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
That ridiculous popinjay hasn't so much as a modicum of the vocabularial braggodocio I myself am an exemplar of. He was clearly ImposterGrog.
mec January 21, 2008 22:38
First comment: 29 September, 2005 4 comments written
Drop the last two panels, and "that'll teach you to make your towerTowers (_brooding_, _dark_) stand alone in Waste Areas and
almost always belong to Wizards. All are several stories high,
round, doorless, virtually windowless, and composed of smooth
blocks of masonry that make them very hard to climb. [...]
You will have to go to a Tower and then break into it at some
point towards the end of your Tour.
[ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, by Diana Wynne Jones ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
non-teleport" would be a great punch line.
TK January 27, 2008 18:43
First comment: 11 August, 2007 69 comments written
I agree; the last two panels wereIn 1573, the Parliament of Dole published a decree, permitting
the inhabitants of the Franche-Comte to pursue and kill a
were-wolf or loup-garou, which infested that province,
"notwithstanding the existing laws concerning the chase."
The people were empowered to "assemble with javelins,
halberds, pikes, arquebuses and clubs, to hunt and pursue the
said were-wolf in all places where they could find it, and to
take, burn, and kill it, without incurring any fine or other
penalty." The hunt seems to have been successful, if we may
judge from the fact that the same tribunal in the following
year condemned to be burned a man named Giles Garnier, who
ran on all fours in the forest and fields and devoured little
children, "even on Friday." The poor lycanthrope, it appears,
had as slight respect for ecclesiastical feasts as the French
pig, which was not restrained by any feeling of piety from
eating infants on a fast day.
        [ The History of Vampires, by Dudley Wright ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
superfluous; the strip would have been far funnier without them.
Fathead February 5, 2008 19:33
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
That was...odd.
Antheridium February 5, 2008 21:03
First comment: 17 May, 2007 442 comments written
It needs the last two panels to close out the series, though. Without them, you'd be expecting another installment.

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