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Dudley's dungeon -- Wednesday, 11 February, 2004

Dudley's dungeon

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Wednesday, 11 February, 2004 by Dion Nicolaas
                    
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The hezrou"Hezrou" is the common name for the type II demon. It is
among the weaker of demons, but still quite formidable.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits! The lichBut on its heels ere the sunset faded, there came a second
apparition, striding with incredible strides and halting when
it loomed almost upon me in the red twilight-the monstrous mummy
of some ancient king still crowned with untarnished gold but
turning to my gaze a visage that more than time or the worm had
wasted. Broken swathings flapped about the skeleton legs, and
above the crown that was set with sapphires and orange rubies, a
black something swayed and nodded horribly; but, for an instant,
I did not dream what it was. Then, in its middle, two oblique
and scarlet eyes opened and glowed like hellish coals, and two
ophidian fangs glittered in an ape-like mouth. A squat, furless,
shapeless head on a neck of disproportionate extent leaned
unspeakably down and whispered in the mummy's ear. Then, with
one stride, the titanic lich took half the distance between us,
and from out the folds of the tattered sere-cloth a gaunt arm
arose, and fleshless, taloned fingers laden with glowering gems,
reached out and fumbled for my throat . . .
        [ The Abominations of Yondo, Clark Ashton Smith, 1926 ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
hits!
@ "O CromWarily Conan scanned his surroundings, all of his senses alert
for signs of possible danger. Off in the distance, he could
see the familiar shapes of the Camp of the Duali tribe.
Suddenly, the hairs on his neck stand on end as he detects the
aura of evil magic in the air. Without thought, he readies
his weapon, and mutters under his breath:
"By Crom, there will be blood spilt today."

[ Conan the Avenger by Robert E. Howard, Bjorn Nyberg, and
L. Sprague de Camp ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, hear my prayer, mumble mumble..."
                    
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"Hark, mortal! To enter the castle, thou must play the right tune!"
                    
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You hear a divine music... It sounds like the Marche Funèbre.
    ------------    
   /  REST IN   \   
  /    PEACE     \  
 /                \ 
 |     Dudley     | 
 |    killed by   | 
 |     Chopin     | 
 |    *  *  *     | 
 /\\_/(\/(/\)\//\/| 
Inspired by James H.


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Rating

013314
Average rating: Good
Number of ratings: 21

Comments

mantar June 2, 2004 11:09
First comment: 2 June, 2004 3 comments written
I love this one.
Robert Barber, Tamer of a Digital One September 29, 2004 00:33
First comment: 28 September, 2004 64 comments written
Explain this one to me please, mantar.
  April 22, 2005 01:30
First comment: 1 April, 2004 431 comments written
Lol... Chopin was... some musician I think.

I seem to be having trouble posting on here. Luckily this time I can use @.
Nifrith April 25, 2005 12:45
First comment: 25 April, 2005 18 comments written
You owe me a new cup of coffee, this is great stuff!
Fathead April 1, 2006 01:23
First comment: 1 April, 2006 1136 comments written
All right, it was amusing to read about Chopin killing a dungeoneer.
LordDonut December 7, 2006 12:59
First comment: 7 December, 2006 4 comments written
Indeed, Chopin was "some musician" if you don't know who he is, I feel sorry for you and the rockBilbo saw that the moment had come when he must do something.
He could not get up at the brutes and he had nothing to shoot
with; but looking about he saw that in this place there were
many stones lying in what appeared to be a now dry little
watercourse. Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and
it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one
that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise
throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and
even birds, got out of his way as quick as lightning if they
saw him stoop; and even grownup he had still spent a deal of
his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand,
bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and
throwing sort - indeed he could do lots of things, besides
blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I
haven't time to tell you about. There is no time now. While
he was picking up stones, the spider had reached Bombur, and
soon he would have been dead. At that moment Bilbo threw.
The stone struck the spider plunk on the head, and it dropped
senseless off the tree, flop to the ground, with all its legs
curled up.
        [ The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
you've lived under since, what, the 16,1800s?
Cheesy December 9, 2006 19:35
First comment: 9 December, 2006 10 comments written
It's great. It would make more sense if the song title was in English. Marche Funebre means "Funeral March", a traditional song played at (gasp) funerals, which was written by Chopin.
Ana January 12, 2007 00:56
First comment: 9 January, 2007 14 comments written
Errmmm... you really need to get a little more contact with other languages and cultures. Come on!... March(e) Funebre/ral, it's sort of trivial!
Grognor April 4, 2007 20:58
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
I thought the joke was that even though he was getting attacked, when he prayed to CromWarily Conan scanned his surroundings, all of his senses alert
for signs of possible danger. Off in the distance, he could
see the familiar shapes of the Camp of the Duali tribe.
Suddenly, the hairs on his neck stand on end as he detects the
aura of evil magic in the air. Without thought, he readies
his weapon, and mutters under his breath:
"By Crom, there will be blood spilt today."

[ Conan the Avenger by Robert E. Howard, Bjorn Nyberg, and
L. Sprague de Camp ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
, he only only gave Dudley a useless tune to play.

Either way, excellent/5
HK June 1, 2007 05:05
First comment: 1 June, 2007 309 comments written
I laughed. EXCELLENT!!!
Grognor June 15, 2007 01:04
First comment: 4 April, 2007 1161 comments written
Uh, the hezrou"Hezrou" is the common name for the type II demon. It is
among the weaker of demons, but still quite formidable.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
suddenly becomes a humanThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
/elfThe Elves sat round the fire upon the grass or upon the sawn
rings of old trunks. Some went to and fro bearing cups and
pouring drinks; others brought food on heaped plates and
dishes.
"This is poor fare," they said to the hobbits; "for we are
lodging in the greenwood far from our halls. If ever you are
our guests at home, we will treat you better."
"It seems to me good enough for a birthday-party," said Frodo.
Pippin afterwards recalled little of either food or drink, for
his mind was filled with the light upon the elf-faces, and the
sound of voices so various and so beautiful that he felt in a
waking dream. [...]
Sam could never describe in words, nor picture clearly to
himself, what he felt or thought that night, though it remained
in his memory as one of the chief events of his life. The
nearest he ever got was to say: "Well, sir, if I could grow
apples like that, I would call myself a gardener. But it was
the singing that went to my heart, if you know what I mean."
[ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
in panel two.

???
Ib July 31, 2007 09:40
First comment: 31 July, 2007 12 comments written
Excellent.
Also, I've suddenly gained a desire to listen to Chopin.
Nikki September 8, 2007 07:50
First comment: 8 September, 2007 3 comments written
Fabulous stuff!
Melnor the Mad February 19, 2008 08:17
First comment: 19 February, 2008 23 comments written
I can't believe it took me so long to find out about this site! This one's great because it has two jokes right after another. It also made me think of the episode of The Tick with 'Octopaganini', who is Paganini as a super villain and with eight arms.
gneek May 31, 2008 01:22
First comment: 18 January, 2008 159 comments written
Good one
Zarquil September 26, 2008 06:20
First comment: 26 September, 2008 54 comments written
I think I'm hearing it play in the background now.
Jackal Lantern January 21, 2009 06:08
First comment: 24 June, 2008 24 comments written
At Grognor and everybody,

Right. The joke is that Dudley is about to die, so he prays as a last-ditch effort. Instead of doing something useful, such as restoring him to full HP, CromWarily Conan scanned his surroundings, all of his senses alert
for signs of possible danger. Off in the distance, he could
see the familiar shapes of the Camp of the Duali tribe.
Suddenly, the hairs on his neck stand on end as he detects the
aura of evil magic in the air. Without thought, he readies
his weapon, and mutters under his breath:
"By Crom, there will be blood spilt today."

[ Conan the Avenger by Robert E. Howard, Bjorn Nyberg, and
L. Sprague de Camp ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
gives him the musical code to unlock the castle, which--in this case--sounds like a funeral march by Chopin
Jackal Lantern January 21, 2009 06:08
First comment: 24 June, 2008 24 comments written
At Grognor and everybody,

Right. The joke is that Dudley is about to die, so he prays as a last-ditch effort. Instead of doing something useful, such as restoring him to full HP, CromWarily Conan scanned his surroundings, all of his senses alert
for signs of possible danger. Off in the distance, he could
see the familiar shapes of the Camp of the Duali tribe.
Suddenly, the hairs on his neck stand on end as he detects the
aura of evil magic in the air. Without thought, he readies
his weapon, and mutters under his breath:
"By Crom, there will be blood spilt today."

[ Conan the Avenger by Robert E. Howard, Bjorn Nyberg, and
L. Sprague de Camp ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
gives him the musical code to unlock the castle, which--in this case--sounds like a funeral march by Chopin
Jackal Lantern January 21, 2009 06:09
First comment: 24 June, 2008 24 comments written
Bah. I hit the add comment button twice before it refreshed.

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